Words That Were Never Spoken
by riversong15
Summary: When it seems they have both moved on, Callie writes a letter to Brandon 6 months after the adoption, a letter he will never read. This is that letter.
1. The Letter

Author's Note: So I know I haven't posted the last chapter to _What is Right?_ but that's just because of the fact that I haven't finished it yet. I just had this idea in my head and I needed to get it done before I could really focus on ending the story. This started as a one-shot but then and idea and story formed while I was writing it, so right now I'm just testing the waters with it, see how people enjoy this little part. Once I get _What is Right? _done, this story will be the next one of my stories (maybe). I hope to make it angsty like _Whispers and Screams_, but not as dark, something like another Fosters fanfiction called _Clarity_ (which is a great story, I encourage you to read it if you haven't, find it in my favorite stories). It will have some OCs and will take place in the future. So, please enjoy the little prologue to _Words That Were Never Spoken_.

* * *

Brandon,

I shouldn't be writing this to you. I shouldn't be bringing this up in a letter. I wish I could talk to you face to face about this but we both know that any conversation between us turns awkward. And that's not our faults. We just can't be friends. And if we can't be friends, I have no idea how we can be family.

I wish the reason I don't want to be near you were because I hate you but the truth is, I just don't want to be reminded of how much this pains me. But I can't ignore you, no matter where I go. I see you in the hallways at school, my math class in the second row, the beach where you sit and listen to music, even the sidewalk we used to take to get home.

I hear someone mention your name and it takes all I have not to just jump into the conversation, hear what's being said about you, when I should really be distancing myself as much as possible.

Being at home is the saddest part of the day. Everywhere I look, it's you, whether you're 8 years old or 14, or even 16 and at your moms' wedding, not to mention how any mention of the wedding reminds me of our first kiss.

Nighttime is the hardest. Everyone reconvenes for dinner and your chair always stays empty across from mine. Your old bedroom is only a few yards from the doorway of my room and I try not to stare at it, waiting for you to walk in and start playing that piano you slave over for hours and hours, making beautiful melodies that can only be yours. But you don't. Because my presence drove you to your father's, where I have never been and therefore don't remind you of me wherever you look.

Do you think of me as much as I do of you? You must because when I do catch your eye all I can see is your eyes boring into my soul and I have to remind myself why I'm hurting instead of happy.

You have this look you save just for me, a look that tells me you're trying, and to be honest, I love you even more for giving this a chance, for trying not to make this harder on both of us. But you know that saying that absence makes the heart grow fonder? Well that definitely applies to us.

But the absence isn't physical for us, for as I said before, you are everywhere. The absence is mental. In my heart, a place belongs to you but remains empty ever since we decided that being in love wasn't enough. I needed a family, but we both know we never thought of each other as family.

For those first two months I was here, we didn't know this would happen. We had it in our minds that this was only temporary, that our parts in each other's lives were close to being over. And now I wish I had used that time to be with you. I wish I could have told you how I was falling in love with you, gradually every day I spent in the house.

I had been holding onto the hope that when I did leave, you would want me as I wanted you. When your mom was in the hospital, I almost told you this. I was running towards you when Talya showed up and immediately I realized that I didn't live a life where I got lucky. That kind of life was reserved for kids that didn't lose their mom and dad in the same day in different ways.

I guess I should explain why I'm writing this letter. See, David dropped the bomb on me tonight. He told me he loved me and like the idiot I was, I said it back. I don't know, I guess I thought if I said, I would feel it. But I didn't, and I knew it was because I still love you, even though it's been 6 months since the adoption was finalized and you found Alyssa, the only girl that's made you smile since I broke your heart.

I wish it hadn't taken me 6 months to realize that not only was this not working, it never would, at least not for me. I wish I didn't have to wake up the next morning knowing you would still be my brother, knowing I had dragged us into a hole we could never get out of.

I don't ever plan on you reading this. I know if you did, it would only make things worse for the both of us, because you still hold onto the hope that we can be together, and for the sake of _our_ family, we can't.

I admit that I am in love with you. I admit that in 20 years, when we will have families of our own, you will still be the one for me. Because you are so special to me and I can't forget you as far as I can throw you.

I almost hate myself for being in love with you, but how can I when it's neither of our faults. No one can help whom he or she falls in love with. And I can't help that I do love you.

But you have Alyssa, and I have David.

And we're too far past the point of no return.

I hope one day that our hearts will reconnect, but I fear that day will never come.

(I know you won't see this but I will still sign it because it just feels wrong not to end this letter.)

Yours truly (in many ways),

Callie Jacob-Foster


	2. Walking The Line

Author's Note: Yay, I'm finally continuing this story. I'm excited to write new characters and create that great Brallie angst we all know and love/hate. This next part of the story starts off with "How did Callie meet David?". There will be quite a few flashbacks in this story, just so you know. Make sure you read the note at the end of the chapter!

* * *

**Six Months Ago**

* * *

_What the hell am I doing here?_ I thought, standing next to some beach bonfire, with a half-full beer, surrounded by my least favorite kind of people.

_You came because you wanted a break from Brandon._

Yeah, great job doing that, considering he was standing ten feet away with his own friends, glancing at me every now and then, probably wondering if he should invite me into the conversation. I had spent the last hour avoiding him like the plague, but now I just wanted to go home, and I was sure the girl that gave me a ride already left.

I was so lost in my reverie that I didn't notice the guy standing in front of me until he waved his hand in my face.

"Hey."

I blinked and looked at his face. I didn't know who it was, but he looked familiar enough that I must have been in his class sometime.

"You're Callie, right?"

I nodded. He was attractive. "And you are..."

"David. I'm a friend of Brandon's."

"Ah, I see." I shifted slightly, not knowing what to say.

"How are you?"

"I'm bored." I said truthfully. "The person I came with kind of left me behind without a ride."

"You want to leave? The party just got started."

"This isn't really my scene."

"Really? I would have thought you would like this kind of stuff."

_Well then._ "Why? Because I'm the Juvie girl?"

"No," he started waving his hands, "sorry, it's just, I've seen you at other parties and thought you must like to come."

"I only went to those because I had to keep watch over somebody."

He nodded. "So who are you watching tonight?"

"No one. I decided to come on my own for once."

"And you're not really feeling it."

"No not really. I don't really know anybody here."

"Well, I'm willing to make this night awesome if you let me."

A corner of my mouth lifts. He was charming, and I didn't have anything else to do other than watch others drink and have fun.

"I don't know you're going to have to entertain me."

"Ok then," he takes my hand and pulls me closer to where the kids were dancing, drunken girls creating a circle where no one else could join in. He takes me right next to the speakers and puts my drink to the side. "You're going to want your hands so that you can applaud."

I cock my head and he backs away and starts dancing. It was, to be honest, good. He was hitting and popping and doing whatever else hip hop dancers do. When he starts breakdancing, a crowd starts to form and cheer him on, and finishes and everyone claps for him, even me, albeit slowly, trying not to boost his ego too much.

He walks up to me, a cocky grin plastered on his face. "So, were you entertained?"

I nodded, "Definitely."

"Your night much better?"

"Sure, I would say it sucks much less."

"See. Now," he takes a step towards, "I think I need to get you to give it a try."

I shake my head. "No, no, no. You do not want me dancing."

"Ah come on. No need to be afraid. No one's watching anymore. And it will bring a smile onto your face." He takes my hands and starts pulling me towards to music.

I gently pull my hands back. "I don't think so."

He nods, his smile still there. "Okay, maybe next time maybe."

I find myself nodding. "Yeah sure, next time."

"You want a ride home?"

I raise my eyebrows.

"I swear, just a ride. Trust me, there's no way I would take advantage of my buddy's sister, or any girl for the matter." He puts one hand on his heart and raises the other. "I swear on my life, I will drive you there and only ask for your number."

I look him up and down and determine he must be sober. "Fine."

He looks over my shoulder. "I'm just going to say good-bye to my buddies. Stay here."

I watch him walk away when someone taps me on the shoulder.

"Hey," Brandon stands in front of me, his hands in his pockets, alcohol unseen or smelled. "I see you met David."

I nodded, my eyes looking into his. "He's giving me a ride home."

He squints. "You could have just asked me to bring you home."

I shook my head. "I didn't want to pull you from your friends."

"It's okay you know. This isn't my favorite thing either, going to parties, drinking beer."

"So why did you come?"

He looks down. "I didn't think you would be here."

I stare at him. _He needed some time out of the house too._

"I hope David's been good."

"Yeah, he's fine."

He finally looks back up at me. "I told him to talk to you."

My eyebrows furrow. "Why?"

"Because he's a good guy."

"What do you mean?" _Why is he telling me he's a good guy?_

"I'm trying to help you Callie." And then it clicks.

"By forcing one of your friends onto me?"

"I just want to make sure that the next guy you're with is a good guy. I don't want you to get hurt." His voice drops.

I'm starting to feel angry. I want to yell at him, I want to tell him to mind his own business, and I don't need him to set me up with one of his friends.

But he's looking at me with those eyes and he looks like he's trying to say I'm sorry with the way he changes his face.

And as much as I don't want to admit this, it is his business. Brandon isn't just some ex-boyfriend. I'm in love with him and he is with me, yet he's helping me move on, something we have both been very reluctant to do.

_But do I want to?_

_No._

_But you have no other choice._

Before I can say anything, David is back, holding his keys in his hand. "You ready to go?"

I nod. I look at Brandon, whose eyes are staring not at me but David. "You sure you can bring her? I mean, you tend to go all out at these things buddy."

"Hey man, I'm as drunk as you are right now. Don't worry, I'll take good care of her."

"Yeah, you better." His smile makes it look like I joke but I know by the way he's looking at him that he doesn't want me going with him, despite what he just said about him being a good guy. I don't blame him. I find myself glaring at nice girls flirting with him all the time.

He glances back at me. "See you at home."

"Yeah," I force myself to look happier, trying not to watch his retreating figure, "see you."

* * *

**Present Day**

* * *

"Hey beautiful."

I look up at my boyfriend's happy face. "Hey to you too."

He leans down and kisses me, and I kiss him back more than usual, trying to forget about the words I had written in my journal last night, pretending I hadn't poured out my heart to those pages, remembering I had lied to this boy about my feelings for him.

"So, you excited about tonight?" He slung his arm around my shoulder, sitting next to me at the table we ate lunch at.

"Tonight?"

"Don't tell me you forgot about our double date."

I slap my forehead like some anime character. "No, don't tell me that's tonight."

"I'm not surprised you forgot. You weren't exactly that excited when it was first brought up."

"It's not exactly how I wanted to spend my Friday night."

"Well, you promised Alyssa and she told me to remind you when I saw you. You can't back out now."

"I know. It just seems a little ridiculous."

"What, that you're technically going on a date with your brother and his girlfriend?"

_No, that I'm going to have to spend three hours acting like everything is fine when my heart is breaking every second I spend there._

"Exactly. I just want to hang."

He squeezes my shoulder. "We just need to do this once, after that, I promise to never agree to anything like this again."

I roll my eyes, "Fine."

"Great. Listen, I need to talk to Timothy about an assignment right now, I'll see you after school?"

"I can't. I have that session with the college counselor."

"Ok then, I'll just have to wait until tonight. You and Brandon will probably drive together, right?"

"Yeah, we'll meet you there."

"'Kay, have to run," he kisses me on the cheek, "I love you," he whispers, a lot less nervous than he was last night when he first said it.

"You too."

He smiles bigger, content with my answer, and quickly leaves me feeling the dread in my heart sink down into my stomach.

* * *

"You ready to go?"

I shake my head at Brandon. "Do I have to B? I know Alyssa was looking forward to this-"

"Trust me, she'll have my head if I show up without you."

I nod my head, picking up my phone and tucking strand of hair that isn't staying. "Let's go then."

I try to nudge past him, but he grabs my arm. "Is something wrong?"

"No, why?"

"You just seemed off today."

"It's nothing." Our eyes connect and I can feel the conversation getting weird. I shrug off his arm. "We're going to be late."

He says nothing and just looks me up and down. "Hold on," he reaches his hand and brushes back the strand of hair in the middle of my forehead. "There," his face now much closer than before.

I swallow and look down at my phone when it vibrates. "Come on, Alyssa and David are already there."

I don't wait for an answer, I turn and walk to the car and we wordlessly make our way to the movie theatre, my thoughts racing over what could have just happened.

_Stay strong Callie. For yourself and for Brandon, you have to make this work._

* * *

Sometimes I don't know what's harder: denying my feelings or giving in to them. You would think that giving in to them would be easier but even when my heart says yes, my brain wins out and stops my body from going for it.

I'm straddling the line right now, not really choosing either side. Something has to push me over the edge eventually.

I just hope I'm strong enough to withstand the fall.

* * *

Second Author's Note: I always like to pre-plan my stories, just so that I can keep the creativity flowing, so how about you guys look at my profile and check out what stories I have planned. It will include a brief description for each of them and you can PM me your thoughts. I try to do original stories, so I try find something you haven't seen in this fandom. Help me out guys, tell me your thoughts in the reviews or PM me, it would mean a lot!

Next Chapter: The Double Date continues and we get more backstory on Alyssa.


	3. Forget What's Important

Author's Note: This took me a while to write, on account of life getting in the way and a lot of proofreading and rewriting of this chapter. I don't want to take up any more of your time, you guys have waited longer that what I would've wanted, so enjoy this chapter from Brandon's perspective.

* * *

**Three Months Ago**

* * *

I put my music folder in my bag, making my way to the door when my piano teacher calls me back.

"Brandon before you leave I have something I need to ask you."

I turn and nod. "What is it?"

He hands me a paper. "This is a music competition for singers."

I laugh. "I'm not a singer."

"No, but every good singer needs an accompanist to back them up."

"And you think I can do it?"

"I think it would be a good experience for you. I already have someone asking if I had a student they could borrow. Her name is Alyssa Thomas, she's a-"

"-Senior at Anchor Beach, yeah I know her. Did she ask for me?"

"Yes actually. She wanted to make sure it was okay for her to keep you from your lessons if she needed to."

I nod. "I'll think about it."

"Don't think too long. Competition's in a month."

"I'll talk to her tomorrow."

He smiled a gestured towards to door. "'Kay, I'm done with you. See you next lesson."

"See you later." I turn the knob and walk out, looking at the flyer in my hand.

Alyssa Thomas: Pretty, smart, and _not _a friend of Talya's.

_Why not Brandon? Would you rather spend your time alone while Callie hangs out with David?_

I take one more glance at the flyer before shoving it in my bag.

I'll find her tomorrow.

* * *

"Hey, Alyssa, wait up."

She turns, her straight brown hair whipping behind her, pink lips smiling when she sees me. "Hey, Brandon. I take it your teacher talked to you."

"Yeah. I'll do it. I'll help you with your competition."

"Great." Her white teeth show, as her smile gets bigger. "You want to meet in the music room after school? I have some ideas and we need to get started as soon as possible."

"Yeah, sure, I can meet you."

"Perfect," her hand touched my arm. "Thanks for doing this."

I smile. "No problem."

* * *

**Three Weeks Later**

* * *

"Callie, wait up." I run to catch up to her on the sidewalk, and waited for me until I reached her. "You walking home?"

"Yeah. Don't you have rehearsal?"

"Cancelled, Alyssa has a doctor's appointment. You mind if I walk with you."

She bit her lip, "Sure." She starts walking and I fall into step with her.

Silence falls between us but I find myself enjoying it. The only times we ever get along are when we aren't speaking, because in silence no one can say something to make or break a person's happiness. Silence is neutral, and that's what we are now. I can't say yes and she can't say no.

Silence exists in every conversation. It lingers after periods, delays sentences, essentially keeping the peace between two parties until another word slices through and ruins it.

A part of me is afraid that this is how we will always be, at some sort of stalemate, where one person has to make a move in order for the game to move on. And who wants to live like that, stuck in some sort of limbo?

But before I can really start thinking about this, Callie's voice reaches out and pulls me back, and like a rubber band, it snaps me back into reality.

"What?" I ask, not hearing what she said.

She glances at me, and then focuses her gaze to the ground. "She really likes you B."

"Who?"

"Alyssa. She came up to me during lunch, asking if I knew if you were into her." I look at her, trying to see how she's feeling, but her face stays blank as her eyes stay affixed in front of her, as if looking at me will cause her to stop walking, which she must do to get home and end the conversation faster.

"It's not like that."

"Isn't it?"

I shake my head. "You know I'm not looking for a girlfriend."

"I wasn't looking for a boyfriend, but there you were, handing me one of your friends."

"I don't need a girlfriend Callie."

"What you need is to stop moping around while the rest of us are in relationships."

"Gee, thanks."

"I'm not trying to be mean. I don't want you to be unhappy. Why can't you see that she will make you happy?"

"Because I don't see her like that! I don't see any other girls. Not anymore." We're standing in the middle of the sidewalk, the occasional car driving by. Otherwise, we are alone, no one else witnessing our conversation going to a dangerous place.

"I only ever see you Callie. And seeing you happy makes me happy."

Callie sighs, but it's more exasperated than content, her fingers run through her hair before dropping to her side. "I can't be what makes you happy, B."

Sadly, I nod.

She bites her lip and my eyes go straight to her mouth, and it's just like that moment at the wedding, where I can't keep myself from staring and she's slowly leaning in.

But Callie looks away and I force myself to take a few steps back. I turn my back towards her, running my hands through my hair, mentally yelling at myself. _God dammit Brandon, you know you can't think about her like that._

"Brandon, this is hard, for both of us, but you have to understand, us finding other people will help us."

"I know that Callie." I snap. "It doesn't mean I have to like it."

"No, you don't have to like it, you have to do it!" I turn and her eyes are pleading at me. "Don't make this complicated. Please Brandon."

I huff and look down at ground. I hear her sniff and look up to see her crying. My face softens and I take a deep breath.

"Ok," I say, defeated. "I'll try."

She smiles at me, but it's small and forced. "Thank you."

She walks away and I keep myself from walking next to her, instead staying a few feet behind her.

Under my breath, I whisper so softly, as the silence forms between us.

"Things are already complicated, Callie."

* * *

I never say anything aloud to her, not about us. It's as if she never hears me say it, it's never actually said. I never have to see her face or hear her voice react to how I feel about her. I don't have to feel the rejection dig into my heart when she reminds me what I feel, what _we_ feel, can never become anything more.

It helped us both focus on our relationships. After the competition, I took Alyssa out for dinner that dinner became another date, and after about two weeks, it was official. I had "moved on" in the eyes of my family.

But I take one look at Callie when she's not looking and that insistent voice in my head just keeps saying, "She loves me, she feels the same way, she's hurting the same way I am."

But it doesn't matter. She drew the line between us.

And I'm not Liam. I'm not going to cross that line.

I'm not going to hurt her.

* * *

**Present Day**

* * *

"Hey guys, I found seats." Alyssa whispers, inching her way to the middle of the row, the rest of us following behind. She takes a seat and I sit next to her, with David to my left and Callie on the other side.

Callie sits down and suddenly yelps. She stands up and looks at the seat she was sitting on.

"What happened?" David asks.

"I think my chair is broken. I sat on it, it bent forward, and I almost fell off."

"Should we find different seats?"

"We can't," Alyssa, gestures to the rest of the theatre. "There aren't any more spots in here with four seats together."

"Do we have to sit together?" I ask.

"If we sit apart, then this isn't a double date, it's just two separate dates in the same place."

"Here," David stands up, "Take my seat, I'll sit there."

"No, you don't have to." Callie protests.

"Let me. I don't want you to be uncomfortable. Come on."

She shrugs and they switch places, him easing into the seat, making sure to lean back in the chair. Callie takes the seat next me, leaning away from me and keeping her legs to the left of the seat, trying not to brush them next to mine. I turn my head away from her and look down at Alyssa, who looks up at me with complete adoration. I know my face looks the same and my face rests into an easy smile and I kiss her briefly before turning the front of the theatre, lights dimming as the commercials start.

It's halfway through the movie when I feel something touch my leg. I look down and I see that Callie has finally relaxed, her right leg touching my left leg, and she hasn't even noticed. Her eyes stay straight in front of her, and for the rest of the movie, I don't move a muscle. I don't want to take my leg away; I don't want to lose this feeling of us being physically connected. It's only when the two actors kiss and Alyssa lays her head on my shoulder that I get that feeling of everything crashing down on me again.

Because for a moment there, I was sixteen and sitting on the bus with her, on our way to rescue Jude, our legs bumping next to each other, neither moving away. That was the moment I felt drawn to her, when her face was bruised and cut, when she trusted me enough to tell me what happened, when I had only met her 24 hours ago.

Realizing that, I moved my leg away from Callie, and I must have imagined the cold creeping into my skin when I did. Or I just didn't notice the heat and warmth her touch had provided. Either way, she glanced at me when I did, and I knew, she kept her leg there. And that gave me some hope, gave that little voice in my head some encouragement.

_You still love her._

Yeah. Yeah I do.

But right now, I have my arm around another girl's shoulder, a girl I really care about, and Callie's lacing her fingers with David.

And I know I can't ruin our chances at normalcy between us.

But sometimes you forget the important things.

* * *

It's amazing the things you could forget even when things remind you every day, every hour, every second.

You forget to do your homework even when you write it down.

You forget to set your alarm even though you do it every day.

You forget to pick things up from the store even when your mom texts you only minutes before to get it.

You forget the girl your in love with is your adopted sister because you don't see her like that.

You forget your girlfriend is one of the best people you have ever met.

And when you do remember it, you wonder, how could I ever forget? How could I be that stupid?

And then you think, is it too late to fix it?

You hope it's not too late.

Because what is worse that letting yourself down, is letting somebody else down.

* * *

Second Author's Note: So, I don't exactly have an idea planned for the next chapter, more like I know what I want to happen, but it's too soon for it to happen (does that make sense?). If anybody has any ideas, tell me, and I'll make sure to mention you in the next chapter. Thank you!


	4. Regrets

Author's Note: I'm sorry it's been a while. I was trying to get another story done and it's a story that I have to finish before it gets posted, otherwise I fear I will stop writing it. It's not finished yet but I plan to use this three month break from the show to get all my stories moving. Anyway, I had this idea for a chapter before but it took "Guest" telling me in the reviews to go back to the love thing between Callie and David to convince myself it was time. I thought it was too early and was worried this would cut the storyline for a character too short, but with some planning I figured out how to keep the character in the story and to get it to the point where I feel what I had planned before can finally happen in two chapters from now.

Oh, and some thoughts on the finale: That was brutal for me guys. That last scene especially. David Lambert deserves an award for everything he's had to do during these last few episodes. I loved Zac's storyline because I can empathize with him. There was a significant lack of Callie in this episode compared to the others, so it was nice to see that scene at the courthouse (nice in a sense that there was some solid acting, the scene itself had me crying). To be honest though, I think she needs some time away from romance. Let her figure out herself you know? I don't really think she's that sure about what her future will be like now, because adoption seems like a really impossible thing until we find this "Robert Quinn". I at least hope Wyatt can help her realize that what she feels for Brandon is special, but only when he finally gets himself together. I have a feeling that might take a while.

Anyway, enjoy this chapter!

* * *

**Callie P.O.V.**

"Callie, David's here!"

"I'm coming," I yelled downstairs, putting my journal under my mattress, a hiding spot no one knew about. I grabbed a flannel and threw it over my tank top and I hurried down the stairs. "Hey," I came up to him and pecked him on the lips. "Let's go."

"K. Bye Stef." He waved to Stef who smiled and waggled her fingers. "I'll have her home by 10."

"Alright guys, have fun. But not too much fun!" She warned and I pulled him out the door, shaking my head.

He wraps his arm around my shoulder and kisses the top of my head. "Are you excited for tonight?"

"Sure, how can I say no to a few hours on the beach looking at stars?"

He opened the door for me and then rushed to the other side. "I know a place where we'll be alone."

"Since our last date was anything but?"

"Exactly. I told you I would make it up."

"Well, I'm sure it will be special enough."

"I hope so."

I lean over and kiss him on the cheek. He laughs and takes my hand. "I'm really glad I met you." He says.

"I'm glad I met you too." And I wish I didn't, but I look at the text I got a few hours ago, asking if I could talk tomorrow.

"Who's that?"

"No one."

"You going to answer them?"

"Not now. Tonight I'm yours."

"Just tonight? I would think I'd have more than just one night."

"Well, technically you have me for two hours."

"I wish we could spend the night."

I nod, but I can't say to him that I wish I could spend a whole night with him, because I know what that could lead to, and I have been trying to avoid that conversation for as long as possible.

"Hey," he says, noticing my silence. "Something wrong?"

"Just things on my mind."

"You want to talk about it?"

"Not really, let's just hang."

"K got it." And I do let myself relax a bit, because if David wasn't anything, it was pushy. He always waited for me to open up, and being with him was like a breath of fresh air.

I laugh at him when he tries to carry the blankets and picnic basket he brought in his arms, looking like a mule, and I force him to give me something to carry. "Stop trying to be macho." I joke.

And the night goes on exactly how it should, lying on our backs, our hands holding the others and it feels perfect and like one of those nights I will remember, when he starts kissing me. And I kiss back because it feels good, comfortable, and safe.

We're lying on our sides now, his hands rest on my waist, my hands are holding his face, and he squeezes my sides. They start to pull me closer and he flips me over onto my back. I tense up and try to calm down, but then his hands are pushing my flannel off my shoulders. I move my hands to his chest and grab his shirt to pull him off, but he must think I'm pulling him towards me because his kissing becomes more fervent and his hand goes to my thigh.

"Wait," I try to say, but it comes out a mumble, and all it does it make him more excited. "Stop," I manage to get out and he finally stops kissing me, his body hovering over mine. "I don't want to do this." I whispered.

He looks at me, his hot breath blowing across my face as he pants, and I'm about to ask him to get off of me when he scrambles up, and I sit up quickly when he turns away from me.

"I'm sorry, I'm just not ready."

He slowly turns back to me, and I cringe when I see his expression, a look of hurt and frustration, a look I wasn't familiar with. "I understand you're not ready, but I don't understand why."

"It doesn't matter why, what's important is that I want to wait."

"Until when? When you find the right person? What better person than someone you love?"

"It's not that simple for me." I exasperate.

"Why?" I shake my head and he groans. "I never ask you about anything Callie and right now I'm starting to wish I did, because maybe I would know why you prefer to go so slowly."

"Have you maybe considered that nothing is wrong? I'm not like the girls you used to hang out with. I mean we've only been dating for six months."

"This has nothing to do with time. I wouldn't ask this of you if I wasn't sure that what we felt was special. Unlike some guys, I think sex means something." He runs his hands through his hair. "I'm not trying to be a jerk Callie."

"Really? Cause you're sure acting like one. Just because I'm not having sex with you doesn't mean you have to turn into some asshole."

"The sex isn't the problem here, it's you acting like there's nothing different between us."

"Why should I? Nothing's changed!"

"I told you I loved you and you said it back. I think that would change some things!"

"Sorry, I didn't know I was obligated to have sex with you." I snap.

"This isn't about the sex! I just want you to talk to me."

"Well that's just not something I do, okay! It's hard for me to trust someone, even if I do care about them."

"You can trust me." His voice is soft now. "Tell me something, anything, and I promise I'll still love you, maybe even more."

His eyes are pleading, and it's reminding me of when Brandon begged me to tell him I don't love him, so that he can get over me. But this is the opposite, because now I need to tell David something that will make him still love me, something that won't hurt him. But lying to Brandon only hurt him, and I'm afraid that if I do the same thing to David, it won't help me trust him. I could choose to tell him something from my past but the words wouldn't come and my mouth wasn't forming the words it needed to.

Instead, I take what seems to be the easy way out.

"I'm sorry."

His face falls.

"I lied to you."

His eyebrows raise, "About what."

My breathing shudders and I look away from him.

"No, Callie, look at me. What is it?"

I gaze back up at his eyes, and take deep breathes as I force the truth to come out.

"I don't love you."

I couldn't say these words to Brandon six months ago, and to say it now when it's true is like trying to vomit, knowing you'll feel better after you do it, but feels awful when it first comes out.

"Callie, you can't mean that."

"I'm sorry," I don't blink and I keep my gaze fixed on his. "I didn't know what to do when you said you loved me. I thought that saying it out loud would make it real."

One hand goes up to his mouth and he turns away from me, his other hand clenching at his side. His pain is so obvious that I almost feel worse than I did when I told Brandon I slept with Wyatt. Except that was a lie.

"God dammit," he whispers. His hands fall to his sides. "Is it somebody else? Are you in love with somebody else?"

I hesitate. "No," I finally say.

"Then why?" He snaps his head back around. "Why do you not love me?"

"I think if I knew, I wouldn't feel this conflicted." I was wringing my hands. "It's not my fault I can't feel this way for you."

"Are you saying it's mine?"

"No." I took a few steps towards him. "It's nothing either of us did. We just don't work."

Whether this reassures him or not, it doesn't matter. I ruined whatever we had and there's no way I could salvage it. I take his face in my hands and press one kiss to his cheek. He takes my hands and holds them there.

"Were you happy? With me?"

I smile and nod, "Yes, I was happy. I don't have any regrets."

He purses his lips and presses a kiss of my forehead, "You need a ride home."

I nod and his hands drop mine and he gathers the blankets and I take the picnic basket and we go to his car.

* * *

In my room, my fingers start typing on the phone.

"Can't come. Need some time for myself. Sorry."

I press send before I change my mind, but I want to take it back the moment I send it. I needed to talk to him. He was the only one that understands what I'm going through.

_You're vulnerable Callie. You talk to him; you'll do something you'll regret._

I set my phone on the dresser and wait for a message back from him.

But there's nothing.

I guess he has nothing to say now.

* * *

People wonder what would have happened if they did one thing different. They wonder if it could have ended better than it really did.

Those are regrets.

Regrets are a disease that takes over your life. The moment replays in your mind until you finally accept that there was nothing you can do to change it.

I regret not kissing my mother good-bye.

I regret letting Liam get so close.

I regret letting my head rule my heart, stripping me of so many good things.

But then there are the choices you make that lead you to happiness.

Kissing Brandon at the wedding.

Sneaking off to see him, if only for a moment.

Telling him, I love him.

I couldn't take back those things. I couldn't change them with a time machine. Because I don't think, I could make myself decide to do anything different.

The views from the highs were too beautiful to let go.

Even if it were a roller coaster of emotions, I'd have rather felt so much pain than no happiness at all.

* * *

**The Next Day**

* * *

**Brandon P.O.V.**

*Knock* *Knock* *Knock*

I take my hands off the piano and go to the front door of my dad's apartment. The knocking continues. "I'm coming!" I shout. If it's that nosy neighbor complaining about my piano playing again, I'm going to buy them a pair of pink fuzzy earmuffs.

"Look, if it's about the playing-"

"Hey," Callie says.

I freeze my movements, the door halfway open, and I wordlessly look at her.

"Can I come in?"

I say nothing, just staring at her. _She said she wasn't coming._

"Brandon?"

I swallow. "You said you weren't coming."

"I know-"

"No." I shake my head. "You don't just get to show up here."

"I didn't think you would mind."

"What I mind is that you said you weren't coming and here you are, wanting to talk to me."

"Brandon-"

"I'm can't be your freaking pillow Callie. You can't come crying to me when something bad happens."

"Just listen." She takes a step forward but I go back.

"After everything that's already been said, what more needs to be said?"

"Did you sleep with Alyssa?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Do you love Alyssa?" Her eyes bore into mine and I have to blink a few times before I could comprehend what she said.

"How is that any of your business?" I yell. Callie flinches and but keeps her gaze towards me and I have to take a deep breath before continuing.

"You made things perfectly clear for months that this," I gestured between us, "was over, and I know I said that what we feel isn't going away, but God dammit, I'm sick of this!"

"Please Brandon-"

"No Callie! I can't deal with this in-between place we're at. It's not enough for you to keep coming to me when you know what it does to us."

Callie nods her head hastily, "I know Brandon, I know."

"No I don't think you do." I say in a low voice, finally figuring out what I need to do. Callie takes another step towards me and I stay frozen, her stare being matched with mine.

"Then help me understand." Her eyes insisted. She keeps coming closer before stopping with only inches in between us. Her brown eyes are big and I'm starting to drift into the warmth when I take a staggering breath before speaking.

"I'm giving you an ultimatum. All or nothing."

"What do you mean by all?"

"I mean we give in to how we feel, damn the consequences." She shudders a bit at the thought.

"Or we give up," I continue. "What will it be?"

"I don't get a chance to think about it?"

"It has nothing to do with what you think. It's how you feel that matters."

She covers her hands with her face and starts shaking. They slide down to cover her mouth and her eyes are closed.

"Brandon," her hands move away from her face and she looks up at me and I know what she's about to say, because that look haunts me in my sleep.

"I see." My mouth forms a line and I have to hold in the tears forming.

"Brandon."

_I can't listen to this. Not again._

"Just go."

* * *

After a while, the highs aren't enough and as time goes on, you need more and more to live.

So, you have to decide.

You can keep trying to reach those high points again.

Or find something else to make you happy.

But we are like children leaving our mother, we clench tightly to what we love.

First loves especially.

And even if you let go, it still grips your heart and leaves its mark.

And we don't realize we miss it until we feel the emptiness inside when it finally leaves us.

Not until it's too late.

* * *

Author's Note: I swear to God that last scene isn't a setback, you'll understand in a chapter or two.

I like to hear your ideas about this story, sometimes they do influence what I write and it helps me figure out where you think this is going, so review away!

Next Chapter: David and Brandon talk about his break up with Callie, Callie and Alyssa talk about Brandon.


	5. Faking It

Author's Note: Yay, new chapter! Hopefully I made it up to you guys after what I did last chapter. Read on, mend your broken hearts.

* * *

**One Week Later**

* * *

**Brandon P.O.V.**

9:00 PM Friday night

"That sucks." I tell David after he finishes telling me what happened with Callie.

"Really? That's the best you can say?"

I put my hands up. "Dude, don't be mad at me. If you were my sister I would hug you and tell you everything will be alright, but I think that's a little too far, don't you."

He shakes his head. "I don't know why I'm telling you this, don't you know already?"

"Vaguely. She made it sound like it was mutual."

"Maybe to her, but I should've fought harder." He stressed.

I shake my head. "Trust me, when Callie makes up her mind, she's dead set on it. If she thought she was never going to feel the same way, then you guys were bound to fail."

He flinches at that and looks down at his feet. "Maybe she just needed more time."

"You guys were together for six months, and according to you, you've felt this way for two months," I maintained. "Don't feel bad, sometimes the love just fades. Just look at Talya and me. A whole year and I just wasn't feeling it afterwards."

"But how can it be that one-sided? I thought she loved me too."

"Yeah," I glance down, pick up the beer bottle at his feet, and hand it to him. "Love makes you blind to some things, even to the person you love." I watch him take a sip and then continue. "Look man, I know it's hard, but you have to think of this as a good thing. You fell in love. That's a pretty lucky thing for us high school students, you know."

He lightly shoves my shoulder, "Now you're getting all soft."

"There's just no pleasing you."

He laughs and shakes his head before looking at me with a hopeful look on his face. "You think it'll happen again. Falling in love"

"Someday man, someday." I pick up my beer and clink it with his. "Cheers." I take a big swig and he joins me seconds later.

"Yeah, cheers."

* * *

**Callie's P.O.V.**

9:00 PM Friday night

"Where's Brandon right now?" I ask Alyssa as she opens the door to the apartment.

"He said he was hanging with David. He won't be back until later, depending on how drunk they get."

"He's getting him drunk?"

"It wasn't his idea, David asked him."

"Why did he ask Brandon?"

"Because Brandon is the only friend he knew that wouldn't try get him shitfaced at a bar and then ditch him to sleep with some random chick they found. Trust me, Brandon's doing him a favor by only letting him drink a few beers." She turns to me, a reassuring look on her face, "You don't have to worry about him. He just needs some time."

_How many times am I going to hear people tell me that?_

I follow her in and close the door behind me. "Remind me again why we're sneaking into his dad's apartment."

"I needed something here and he said I could pick it up."

"And you just happen to have a key."

She laughs and shakes her head, "I don't _have_ a key, not like that. It's his spare, and I'm supposed to leave it on his desk when I leave."

"Why do you need me?"

"I'm trying to find a piece of music to sing for a concert and I wanted your opinion."

My eyes widen. "Really?" We get to Brandon's bedroom and she opens up a drawer and takes out a folder.

She beams at me. "Yeah. I know you'll be truthful with me, but nice enough not to make me cry. Here," she hands me the bottom half of the pile, "look through these."

I rustle through the pile, amazed at how many songs there are. "You guys wrote all of these?"

"No, most of them are his. I haven't even heard most of the old ones he wrote."

I shake my head, "I didn't know he wrote songs with lyrics. I thought he was only writing piano compositions."

"He doesn't play them for anyone else. He doesn't think they are as good."

"I don't even know what these sound like, how am I supposed to tell you which ones I like?"

"Just look at the words and figure out what kinds of emotions you get from it. I'll try sing some of it if I can."

"Okay," I sit on Brandon's bed and she takes the chair at his desk, and we sit in silence with only her hums and the rustling of papers, stopping every now and then to sing something to me. I hand her some songs and she takes them and puts them in two piles, adding her own selections to the piles, explaining that one was for songs she wrote with Brandon and the other was songs he wrote by himself.

"These all seem really good, how are you going to choose?"

"I'm going to bring some of these to my voice coach and get her opinion."

She turns away from me to look at the pile, I reach for the bottom of my pile and look at the last song. I read the name and then put it in my bag, sticking the papers out of sight. I go back to looking at songs when Alyssa huffs and stands up.

"I think I have enough songs to show to my coach. Sorry I brought you here to do some boring paperwork."

"It's okay, it was fun hanging out."

"Yeah, we should do this more often." She puts the songs back into the folder and places it in the drawer. She takes her two piles, puts them in her bag, and places the spare key on the desk. "Come on, I know this place that sells the best frozen yogurt. Let's get something to eat, we earned it for sitting here for the past hour looking at songs."

I smile and follow her out the door, not before casting one last glance at the room, at the key at the table.

"Callie!"

I turn and walk away.

* * *

"...So my mom makes me get into the driver's seat, literally minutes after getting my permit, claiming if I could do it in my mind, I could do it in real life." Alyssa takes another bite of her chocolate frozen yogurt.

"That's inspiring."

"Right? Well there I was, 15 and a half years old, and I was literally about the pee myself, because she's telling me to press on the gas and change gears and I am shaking." She starts shaking her hand to show me. "And she keeps telling me to press on the gas and I put way too much pressure on the pedal, because next thing I know, I'm slamming on the breaks in front of this tree, literally inches away, and my mom just calmly says 'well that was okay for your first time behind the wheel'."

"Wow."

"Yeah, I wanted to strangle her."

"I haven't even gotten my permit."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. It's hard because I'm in the system, and you have to have all of these documents when you are a foster kid. It always seemed like a hassle."

"You've been adopted for six months, why are you still waiting?"

"I'm seventeen. If I took it now, I would have to take all of those classes, which cost money. I'm waiting until my 18th birthday to try."

"You should ask Brandon to help teach you. He's a great driver."

"I don't know."

"He wouldn't mind."

I shrug. "I just think he has more things to worry about than trying to teach me how to drive."

"Like what?"

I squint at her. "You don't know?"

"Know what?"

"About Mike."

"Well, I know he's a recovering alcoholic."

"Yeah, well there's more to it."

She seems taken aback. "Okay, what would that be?"

I shake my head, "You should ask Brandon. It's not my news to tell."

She sighs and props her head on her hand. "I don't think he would tell me. He always underplays things, you know. He tries to spare my feelings, like it's better that he's hurting without anyone helping him."

I nod my head, flashing back to when I asked if I was hurting him by being adopted. "Yeah."

"I know everyone thinks of him as this perfect guy, but it's hard for him. If his mom wasn't the vice principal, he would get crap everyday at school from the assholes who do it behind his back. He tries to be strong because he feels like his life has been so entitled that he can't ever complain about something without someone else pointing out how lucky he is." She leans forward across the table from me. ""Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Why did you lie to David? Why not just tell him the truth?"

"Because I'm an idiot." She shoots me a look and I sigh. "Because I didn't want to hurt his feelings."

"Would Brandon ever do that? Pretend to protect my feelings."

I refrain from hesitating. "No."

"Do you think we're good together?"

"Yes," I say. She relaxes and lets out a breath.

"I hope so." Her eyes get a little dreamy and a smile brightens her face. "Because I think I'm falling for him."

* * *

How good we are at faking, at pretending that what was on the outside was how we were feeling on the inside.

If people could read our minds, they would know how skilled of liars we have become. Easily making one person believes we love them when our hearts reached for another.

It seemed wrong when we realized how good we were at it. Like we were somehow manipulating everyone into thinking what we wanted him or her to think.

But that didn't stop us from lying, from using our friends as alibis to sneak away, or make up plans for an excuse to get out of the house.

Sure, you felt a little guilty when your friends had to lie to your parents.

But that doesn't stop you from doing it again.

In fact, once you make the decision, it's easier to make the same one later on, until eventually; you don't even need to think about it.

You just do.

If you knew everything that happened, you would understand why we are acting this way, saying what wants to be heard, even if it's not the truth.

But you don't know the full story. You only have half the clues to solve the case.

Maybe it's time you know all that happened at Brandon's apartment a week ago.

Then you'll understand.

* * *

**One-Week Ago**

* * *

"Just go." He says to me, his eyes cold and face rigid.

But I don't go. Instead, I do something he doesn't expect to come from me, something I knew I would most definitely do if I came to talk to him tonight.

I kiss him.

And it's like my hands are not my hands, because I can't control them, they have a mind of their own. They wind their way through Brandon's hair and pull him closer to me. My lips have become those of an animal trying to devour it's prey, because they will not leave his, and it's like I'm trying to meld them together.

It's not as mindless as I think though, because it's exactly what I've wanted to do to him for a long time. It's become so much of a want that even when my brain isn't telling my body to do it, it will.

I catch him off guard and he stumbles backwards a bit before his own instincts tell him to pull me towards him with his hands gripping my shirt behind my back. He starts taking control and I gasp when he spins us around so that he can press my back against the wall. I move my hands to his chest and pull him close while his hands move to my hair, messing it up and pulling my hair out of it's pony tail.

"I love you," I mumble against his lips and seize them again, and he somehow draws me even closer to him. He doesn't say it back. He doesn't need to.

I pull back and lead him into his room, drawing him back to me when we are standing right next to his bed. Neither of us feels like stopping as he strips off his shirt and I start unbuttoning mine, his lips grazing the skin where my shoulder meets my neck. "Brandon," I whisper as my fingers undo the button on my jeans and he helps me pull them off. I can't stop myself at this point. We are so close to going all the way that it seems pointless to stop now.

"Wait," he says as I undo his belt. I look up at him, both of us breathing heavily, his expression unsure and I can feel him changing his mind.

"Brandon, please." I beg. "You said we would do this without thinking of the consequences, no matter how bad."

He cups my face with his hand and leans down towards me like he's about to kiss me, but instead leaves space in between our faces, his eyes searching mine. "Callie, I dream of this moment almost every night and nothing hurts more than waking up and being flung back into reality. I want to know if I'm going to fall asleep with you in my arms and wake up cold and empty the next day."

"Hey," I reach up and take his hands, kissing his fingers interlaced with mine. "You asked me to choose. I'm choosing you."

His still looks wretched, "You could change your mind. You've done it before."

I clutched his hands to my chest. "Let me prove to you that I'm not going to this time. Give me a chance Brandon. Let me redeem myself."

He sighed and my hands wind around his neck and I bring my forehead to his.

"I love you too much to let you go again. Please Brandon." My eyes pierced his blue ones, and I was on the brink of crying.

And then I see his own walls fall away, the ones he formed to block out the longing that's been killing him for months, and his willpower goes flying out the window.

So, he brings me as close to him as possible.

And I let him.

* * *

**Present Day**

* * *

12:00 AM Friday Night

I wait at a park bench with my bag close to my body, wishing I had grabbed a jacket before sneaking out of the house. I had texted Brandon ten minutes ago to meet me here.

_Come on Brandon, where are you?_

It was bad enough that I had snuck out of the house in the middle of the night. It was even more dangerous that I was meeting Brandon.

But I had to warn him to what Alyssa said to me. I didn't know what to tell him though. He couldn't break up with her, not so soon after my break up with David. And I couldn't sabotage Alyssa's performance. But if we let this go any longer, he might be caught in the same situation I was in.

Footsteps came from my left and I shot up to see his approaching figure. "Hey," he's not smiling, sensing something is wrong, "What is it?"

"We have a problem."

"What do you mean?"

"Alyssa thinks she's falling in love with you."

"It's only been a couple of months."

"It didn't take that long for us to fall in love."

"This is different. What I have- had- with Alyssa isn't that serious."

"She doesn't feel that way Brandon. She thinks that it's a sign that you two write so well together, that you are one of the best people she's ever performed with."

"What do I do?"

"I don't know."

"Should I break up with her?"

"No. No, moms might get the wrong idea since I just broke up with David."

"But what happens if she tells me she loves me?"

"You can't say it back. You can't lie to her like that, it only ends badly, especially for a girl."

"So what, am I just supposed to stay with her, hoping she doesn't tell me she loves me?"

"We have to keep this going. We have to make it to college, remember?"

He shakes his head, running his hands through his hair. "I don't want to keep playing her Callie. I do care about her and I don't want to hurt her."

"I know. But right now is the worst moment to break up with her. She's preparing for an important concert, using one of _your _songs, and if you break her heart, it will ruin the performance." I stop his pacing and hold both of his hands. "Do this for her B. You need to be the best boyfriend for the next two months. And if you do get into that situation, tell her you just need time, okay, just don't lie to her."

He nods his head. "Okay, I'll do it." He cups my face and kisses my forehead. "You should go, in case someone figured out you left."

"Okay," I hug his shoulders and he wraps his arms around my waist. "I love you."

"I love you, too." He backs up enough to look at my face. "Good night."

"Good night."

* * *

I remember a song I heard a few months ago, something that went like this.

"So is it better to tell and hurt or lie to save your face?"

I know what my answer would be: Lie. That's all I ever do. When I'm not lying to Brandon about my feelings, I'm lying to somebody else about them. I make Brandon lie to Alyssa to keep up appearances.

He wants to come clean. He has so much faith in his family, thinking they will forgive us and let us carry on with what we are doing.

But I know better than he does. I see the bad things that will happen. I see one of us being sent away, the lectures, the crying, and the hurt on both sides. I see the betrayal being something that separates us from the rest of the family. And we need this family, or we will always feel guilty.

"Well I guess the answer is don't do it in the first place."

If we never fell in love, none of this would be happening. We could look at each other across the table and feel nothing. We could hear each other's voices in a room and not turn to look at them.

We could fall in love with ease, not wondering how it would make the other feel.

But we can't. We feel too much of everything around each other.

"'Cause we're the special two."

* * *

Author's Note: So, If I get enough requests, I will start releasing chapters of one of my other stories I'm currently writing, here's a description:

Second Chances- Drama/Family (little bit of Brallie, not main focus), a take on what would happen if Brandon didn't tell the moms about the kiss and Callie was sent back to the Fosters.

Let me know in the reviews if I you want me to start posting it. It will be updated every week, same as this story.

Song is "The Special Two" by Missy Higgins, one of my favorite artists. Check out her other songs.

Next Chapter: Somebody reads the letter (dun dun DUN).


	6. Fearless

Author's Note: You know how sometimes, if you have this idea that just gets stuck in your head, it won't leave? That's what my last one-shot _It Didn't Matter_ did to me. I literally wrote that in a few hours and I'm so happy that people liked it. Such good responses inspire me to write, which is how this chapter came to be written afterwards.

* * *

**One-Week Ago**

* * *

**Callie P.O.V.**

Putting on his shirt with only my panties underneath, I try to get out of his bed when Brandon pulls me back from my hips.

"Let me go!" I laugh. He sits up and wraps his arms around my waist.

"I don't want to get out yet."

"Well, I can't stay too long, when is your dad coming home?"

His smile falls and I turn towards him putting my hand on his cheek. "What is it?"

"My dad isn't coming home."

"Why, what happened?" His arms get tighter around my waist and I'm sitting on his lap now, his arm over my legs, the other around my shoulders, my arms around his neck.

"He's fallen off the wagon a few times and someone recommended he should go to rehab."

"Since when?"

"A few days ago."

"You've been living by yourself for that long?"

"Yeah."

"Is this what you wanted to talk about?"

He nodded. "I just wanted someone who understood."

I caress his face, enjoying the feeling of his skin under my palm. "It's good that he's getting help. I know it helped my dad when he finally got out of prison." I trailed a finger down his chest and he pulled my face closer to his. "At least I don't have to leave until later."

"Or ever."

"You know that can't happen."

"So this is still a secret?"

"Yes." He was visibly disappointed but I pulled him into a kiss. My legs wound their way around his waist and our chests were pressed together.

"I have to take a shower," I mumble against his lips.

"Can I join you?" He asks a not-so-innocent question innocently.

"You can take a cold shower. By yourself." He buries his head in my neck and I bite my lip to stop from making any noise and give him satisfaction.

Instead, my hands start messing up his hair and I tug the strands back so that his head is tilted back and take his lips with mine. My tongue tries to go through his lips, but he keeps his lips shut, teasing me. I growl and suddenly move my hands down underneath the sheets and grab him. Surprised, his mouth opens and he groans and I use that chance to stick my tongue inside of his mouth.

He flips me on my back and his hands move under the shirt and my back arches up towards his body.

I hate to admit it, but he's good at this. Too good.

Alyssa pops into my mind before desire pushes it back out. Brandon tugs my panties down and for the second time tonight, I feel like I'm on Cloud 9.

* * *

Down the hall, I hear him pressing the white keys, creating a sound to fill the silence in the apartment. I walk out, shirt hanging off my body, and I walk behind him to where he was sitting on the piano bench, half-clothed, playing a simple tune, something a very tired piano player could think up.

"I want you to play me something," I put my hands on his shoulders and he leans back into my torso.

"I think I have an idea of what I could play for you." I take a seat next to him on the bench and he takes a folder off from the top of the piano and ruffle through the pieces of paper, eventually taking out a few pieces of sheet music.

"Close your eyes," he demands and I comply and wait patiently. He takes a deep breath and starts playing.

It's beautiful as usual, but then something different happens. He starts singing. And it's that song he serenaded me with in Daphne's apartment, except instead of a guitar, it's a piano, and somehow, it just fits him better.

And as embarrassing as it sounds, I melt, like a freaking Popsicle. I lean my head into his neck and I wish the song would never end, because it feels as if time is standing still, sitting there with him, in the apartment.

* * *

Two months seem like a unsubstantial amount of time to fall in love. 10 years doesn't sound like enough time to have a mother. But no should have to suffer for six years.

Waiting in limbo while life rushed by me, that's how I lived for the past six years. I never felt courageous enough to join the rest of the world and live. Chains held me down, chains that were as strong as my fear and hostility towards others.

Eventually though, those chains weakened and I felt free enough to find happiness. But the world is filled with good and bad, and I was just a target for those that were looking to cause pain.

I try to figure out what it is that's making me so fearless at this moment and it's when I'm staring at myself in the mirror, I understand why. Looking at myself, in his shirt, my hair messed up in a way it was obvious that somebody else's hands went through it; all I can feel is happiness. His scent is surrounding me, in his bed, in my hair, in the shirt on my body, and it's that feeling of utter bliss that's driving me to do these things.

I used to refuse to love because I thought it would trap me. I thought it would lure me into some false sense of security, and it was a privilege to have. But I was wrong. Love is an adventure. Love makes you daring. Love gives you a freedom to be with the person you want.

And I wasn't afraid of my feelings anymore.

* * *

**Present Day**

* * *

**Brandon P.O.V.**

"Jude, can you pass the salad?"

He nods and hands me the bowl while chewing. Across the table from me, Marianna picks off the cheese from her pizza and Jesus helps himself to another serving next to me.

Like any normal dinner. Except there's a small smile on my face even when nothing's being said. I'm not avoiding anyone's gaze. I don't feel bad for brushing my leg against Callie's under the table.

Not to mention she's actually _talking_ to me at dinner.

"So B how is it at your dad's?" My mother asks.

Nonchalantly, I answer, "It's good. Quiet, you know, since he's not there."

"Have you called him?"

"Yep, everyday. He's doing well. I can visit him if I want."

She smiles and nods her head, and my gaze goes to Callie's hand on top of the table, willing it with my mind to move underneath the table so I could hold it. But then my mom speaks again.

"Lena and I were wondering if you would mind moving in."

"For how long?" I never know when she's going to play the custody card and tell me to come home permanently. It was something I was avoiding for the past six months, since Callie and I were on such awkward terms. I came back every now and then, for a few days, but nothing longer.

But now that I think about it, why wouldn't I move back in? I didn't feel a heart-wrenching pain whenever I looked up from my bowl of cereal to see Callie's face, still half asleep from her lack of a coffee fix. I didn't have to avoid the house whenever David came by.

For some reason though, Callie was stressed out. It wasn't obvious, but when you subconsciously notice things about a person, quirks tend to stand out to you. Her foot was bouncing up and down and she was tugging a strand of hair. I nudged her with my foot.

"Well, since we don't know when your father will be coming back, I thought you would stay indefinitely."

"Um, I mean, I guess so. I have a lot of stuff there now, I don't know if it will fit here."

"You can keep it at the apartment. You're not forbidden to go there when you need something."

"Yeah, okay. I'll pack up tomorrow." I put a hand underneath the table and put it on top of Callie's leg, and she finally stopped moving her leg and relaxed slightly.

* * *

"What's wrong," I ask while we're washing dishes.

"David is throwing a party this weekend." The sadness is evident in her voice, and I feel a pang of jealousy before shaking it off.

"Are you going to go?"

"Of course not. But it's disappointing, you know. I thought he changed. He stopped going to parties while we were dating."

"That's because you hate parties." She shrugs her shoulders and I glance down at her before looking back down at the dirty plate I was rinsing. "I'll go with you, if you want."

"I don't even want to go."

"Yes you do. You want to go and make sure he doesn't do anything stupid." She shrugs her shoulders again. "You don't have to feel guilty for breaking up with him."

"I don't feel guilty."

"But you feel responsible."

"He didn't do any of this while we were dating."

"And it's not your fault."

"I just want to talk to him."

"Are you sure?" She shrugs again and I put down the dishes and turn towards her. "I'm not trying to push you to do anything. But if you want to talk to him, you should."

She glances up at me. "You want me to talk to him?"

"If you want."

"And you won't get mad."

"Why would I get mad?"

She gives me a look. "Do you remember how you acted whenever Wyatt came over?"

"Yeah, but that was Wyatt." She raises an eyebrow. "He always seemed like competition." I explain.

"And David isn't?"

"I trust you." She smiles and moves her hand to quickly squeeze mine before going back to the dishes.

"Okay. Looks like we're going to a party."

* * *

"I think if we change the key, this part here will become too high. What if we take this part and instead of going up, we go down. See it'll sound like this," I play the new part, "instead of that."

Alyssa nods, but she's staring at the ground. She hasn't looked up for ten minutes and I can tell something's bothering her. I walk over to my bed and sit next to her. "What's up? You seem upset."

She glances at me and then stands up, slowly turning back around to me. I start to stand up but she puts her hand up to stop me. "I need to ask you something." She says quietly.

"Okay," I stare at her silently, waiting for her to speak. She takes a deep breath and pulls something out of her pocket. It's a piece of paper, ripped from a notebook it looks like and her hands are shaking and she opens it.

"I wish it hadn't taken me 6 months to realize that not only was this not working, it never would, at least not for me. I wish I didn't have to wake up the next morning knowing you would still be my brother, knowing I had dragged us into a hole we could never get out of." My stomach drops and I move to get up, but then she continues. " I admit that I am in love with you. I admit that in 20 years, when we will have families of our own, you will still be the one for me. Because you are so special to me and I can't forget you as far as I can throw you." She forcefully shoves the paper into my hands, a tear already escaping from her big eyes, and it's like she's goading and begging me to tell her something she wants to hear.

"Alyssa-"

"You know where I found that?" She points to the paper. "Callie's journal. Do you know what that letter is talking about?"

"I-"

"Obviously you do, or you wouldn't be scrambling for something to say right now."

"I've never seen this before."

"I know. She wrote that she never wanted you to see this."

"Then why are you showing it to me? And how did you find this?"

Her lip trembles. "I went into her room looking for her notebook because she said I could use her notes from Trig, and I saw something sticking out of from under her mattress. I pulled it out and something fell out of the pages. She had ripped out the page before sticking it backs in. I guess she was going to throw it away but changed her mind."

"Why would you read this?"

"It's Callie, she's like a freaking unicorn. I wanted to know more about her. It was wrong but I read it. Trust me, it was not what I thought it was. If I knew it was a freaking love letter to my boyfriend, I wouldn't have touched it."

"Alyssa, nothing can happen between us. Callie made that clear _many _times."

"Obviously she doesn't feel that way anymore."

"If she did, she would have talked to me."

"Would she? This is Callie; she would do anything to spare someone else's feelings. If she thought someone would get hurt, she wouldn't do it."

"She's letting me move on."

"Do you want to?"

"I don't have a choice!" I stand up and walk around the bed and open the door, gesturing out into the hallway. "This is my family Alyssa. Callie is a part of my family and I can't date my sister. It took me a long time to realize this, but I know it now."

She walks up to me, her eyebrows furrowed. "So you don't have feelings for her?"

I swallow. _Tell the truth_, Callie said. "I'm getting there." She huffs and picks up her stuff. "I need some time, Alyssa," I exasperate.

She makes it to the door and turns back to me, her face stony, and her eyes still moist. And then she nods. "I do too."

* * *

Nothing is ever really fixed, especially between people.

Those that don't care can easily forgive and forget. The people who matter make you work to fix whatever you did.

So, you work, and work, and work, until finally, you reach a resolution. Everything is okay, and you can go back to normal.

Except everything is not the same because there's a caution, to whatever you do now. And you're so afraid to mess up again, that you'll always end up doing it again.

And next time there isn't hurt on their face. There's disappointment. Because they believed you changed. And you wish you did.

So the trick is the be unafraid. Have faith that you will do the right thing.

Because if it's the right person, they won't ask too much of you. And you'll never give too little.

Relationships aren't black and white. They're bright and colorful and they reach all spectrums of what a person feels in their life.

Whoever made the analogy being in love was like being on a rollercoaster knew this.

Because I never felt so alive than when I was with Callie, for a minute, for a day, in the open, behind closed doors.

She says I make her fearless. I tell her to hold on tight.

Because we're going on this ride together, and we're never getting off.

* * *

Second Author's Note: I still don't know when I will post my next story, because I don't see this one ending soon. I have about 5 good sized chapters for it, so let me know in the reviews if you guys would be interested in another story being posted. It might (very small, incredibly improbable) affect how fast I update this story, but at least there will be updates. I promise not to abandon this story. Cross my heart and hope to die. Anyway, see you guys in a few days.

Next Chapter: Callie and Brandon go to David's party, where things go unplanned.


	7. Old Flames

Author's Note: I actually held off posting this for a few days because I feel like I've been posting a lot lately. I know that you guys probably want me to post everything really quickly, but I want to put a least a few days in between updates to lessen the pressure, so you won't get another update for this story for another week or so. But don't worry, it's just giving me time to write and make sure that what I'm writing isn't total crap. If you're reading my other story _Second Chances_ then you guys will get an update for the story on maybe Wednesday or Thursday.

* * *

**Seven Months Ago**

* * *

**Wyatt's P.O.V.**

"I'm sorry, but my mom found out I was living in my car and says that I can't stay here unless I can find someplace permanent."

Callie's shoulders slump and she takes my hand, sending sparks up my right arm. "God, I can't believe you have to leave again. You can't just stay with Daphne?"

"Yeah, tell my mom I'm living with an 17 year old from Juvie?"

She frowns. "She's a good person."

"My mom's not going to go for it."

She sighs and leans back into the seat of my car, taking her hand away as she crosses her arms. "I don't want you to go." Her big brown eyes start to well up and I can't help but lean in towards her and kiss the lips on her beautiful face. Her hand goes into my hair and she deepens the kiss and I feel my heart racing as our mouths move together. So I break the kiss and stare into her eyes and I say it.

"Maybe I could move in with Stef and Lena. If you ask them, they might go for it. It won't take me that long to find a day job and get an apartment."

"Wyatt." She looks upset now. "That's crazy, they won't agree to it."

"They're foster parents, they take in teens right?"

"There's no room, and you're not in the system, they can't take care of you. And they would never agree to let my boyfriend live with us."

"I love you."

I knew what to expect when I said this. Maybe she would say it back, maybe she would kiss me, and maybe we would even finally get somewhere serious with our relationship.

Or maybe she would do the exact opposite.

"Wyatt, you know I just got out of a bad place, with me finally finding my biological dad and getting adopted. I told you I wasn't going to rush into a serious relationship with you, not until I felt like things were going back to normal."

"And they aren't?" She shakes her head. "Look I get it, you and Brandon will always have a history, but you chose me over him."

"I didn't choose you over him, I chose adoption over a relationship. When you asked if anything changed with Brandon, I said no because I was still going to get adopted."

"So what, if you were allowed to be with Brandon and get adopted would you still choose to be with him?"

"I don't know!" She was crying. "You can't put me in this position, not when you say you love me and you're going to leave for Indiana."

I grip the steering wheel tightly, watching my fingers go white. "You fell in love with him after only two months, and one of those months you were with me. You never made it seem like what we had was something that would last. And when I gave you the advice to go for Brandon, you didn't even hesitate. I'll always be your second choice."

She covers her mouth with her hands as she looks away from me, and my chest starts to hurt the longer I look at her.

"I don't want you to move in. I don't want to have something serious." She chokes out. "I want one easy thing in my life, something that takes no effort, and I just want to feel like I won't get hurt when I'm with someone."

"I'm not going to hurt you." I plead.

"And I don't want to hurt you. But I will. So I think it's best we just say goodbye and try to part as friends."

"Just tell me something."

"No."

"Callie-"

"I know what you're going to ask, and trust me, if you value our friendship at all, you won't."

"I think I'm willing to risk it." She takes a deep breath, and turns her head slightly to me, but looks away. "Callie." She finally looks me in the eye. "Did you ever have feelings for me?"

"Yes."

"But?"

She lets out a breath, "You know why."

"I just want to hear it."

"Really? Because if I were you, I wouldn't."

She sits there stiff and stony so I turn my head to the front of the car.

"I'm not going to be with Brandon just because you're gone. Nothing's changed, I'm still adopted."

I lean my head back into the headrest. "Do what makes you happy Callie."

She shakes her head and gets out of the car. "I wish I could." She smiles genuinely at me, but it just makes my stomach sink lower. "Goodbye Wyatt."

She stands there waiting for me to respond back, and I feel like there's so much that still needs to be said. But I never had the chance, or if I did, I missed it.

"Goodbye Callie."

* * *

**Present Day**

* * *

**Brandon's P.O.V.**

"This was a bad idea." Callie says.

"We won't stay long. We'll be in and out in half an hour." We get to David's front door, the music pounding on the other side; party already in full gear an hour after it has started. "Stay close, and if you think something bad is going to happen, go find me."

Callie opens the door and I follow her in, guys and girls drinking and partying in front of us. Our interlocked hands let go and I watched her walk towards David, who was standing next to the speakers, watching everyone have fun. Someone tapped me on the shoulder and I turn to see Alyssa, holding a beer, which she shoves into my hands as she pulls me down to, kiss me sloppily.

"Hey handsome. What are you doing here?" Her hands are on my chest and I hold her shoulders to stop her from falling.

"Alyssa, I think you need to sit down." I lead her to the couch and sit her down, when she pulls me down next to her and moves her lap onto mine.

"I miss you." She says, her smile big and she cups my face. "I'm sorry I got so mad at you yesterday. I should have known that whatever you and Callie had was over. I mean, there she is with David." I look over at where David was standing before and see her and David hugging.

"She's not getting back together with him," I explain.

She turns towards them and then looks back at me. "That's just wishful thinking. She'll let you go like you let her go."

I look down and she uses her fingers to bring my face back up and she kisses me again. Her hands go down to the buttons of my shirt and I stop her there. "Alyssa, I think I need to get you home."

"We could stay here. Find a bedroom." She puts her mouth next to my ear. "I forgot to put on panties before coming here." She giggles and then stands up, unsteadily. I catch her quickly and she grabs the back of my neck and starts peppering my face with kisses. I see Callie has noticed and is making her way to the front door, shaking her head.

"Stay here."

"Brandon," she whines.

"I'll be back. Just wait here. And don't drink anything." She pouts and sits on the couch.

"Callie," I yell and she's leaning against the door, arms crossed.

"You're done talking to David?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, I'll meet you at the car, I have to help Alyssa get out of here."

"I'll do it." I turn and David is standing there behind me, looking sober for a party host.

"She's my girlfriend, I'll take her home." I explain.

"I need to get out of here man, I'm desperate for an excuse."

I almost want to tell him to take Callie home, but I realize how much of a mistake that would be, so I just nod and tell him the address. He comes back a minute later with Alyssa's arm draped across his shoulders.

"Brandon." She sings. "There you are." She stumbles again, but David is still holding her up.

"Don't worry, I'll take good care of her. Good night guys." He loads her into his car and she stares out the window at me as he drives away and I turn back to Callie to see her already going to the car.

"Hey, what's wrong?" I say when we're driving down the road.

"The talk with David didn't go as planned."

"Meaning?"

"He threw that party hoping I would come and we would get back together." She curls her legs under her body and leans against the car door. "I told him I only wanted to be friends, and then I saw you and Alyssa and I just had to get out of there."

"I'm sorry-"

"Don't apologize. It's good she forgives you. It makes things less complicated, in a way."

I nod, and I quickly reach my hand over to her and squeeze her thigh affectionately. She smiles her half-smile and then leans over to whisper in my ear.

"Pull over into that alley."

I grin and she bites her lip when I finally pull over, no other cars around, as she climbs over to the back seat, where I join her, and she pulls my shirt to bring me on top of her.

"What's gotten into you?" I murmur against Callie's neck, whose fingers are sliding under my shirt and making me shiver.

"You." She says like it's a matter of fact, and she lifts the bottom of my shirt up and I help her remove it from my body. "You've gotten into me," she says sexily, and I growl and unbutton her top, kissing down the center of her chest, enjoying each little sigh that comes out of her mouth.

"I wish I could take you somewhere special," I say hovering over her face. "I wish we could just go and find someplace else, where no one will bother us."

"You know we can't," she wraps her legs around my waist, "We still have your girlfriend to think about."

"Let's not right now." I grab her hips and pull them towards mine; connecting them briefly and watching her eyes go hazy.

"Damn you Brandon," she curses, her fingers dragging through my hair. "Damn me too, for wanting you this badly. I'm going to go to hell for all the things I want to do to you."

"Well then," We both groan when my hips clash with hers again, "I guess I'll see you there."

* * *

**Alyssa's P.O.V.**

"I'm home, I'm home," I say and David opens the front door that I must have kept unlocked before leaving. "My home sweet home," and he rushes me in and closes the door.

"Mom, Dad, I'm home!" I yell and David gets a panicked look before I laugh again. "They're not home dummy!" I make my way to the stairs but the floor turns into a bouncy house and I can't take a step without wanting to jump. "Come on dummy, race you up the stairs," but he just picks me up bridal style and carries me to my room.

"Here you go," he says, laying me on my bed.

"Oh, my bed." I spread out on my comforter.

"I better go back, good night Alyssa."

"Wait," I say, not wanting him to leave. I suddenly feel serious, everything looks a lot less fun and my tone matches my feelings now. "There's something I have to tell you."

"Alyssa, I have to go, and you're drunk."

"It's important," I stare at him, feeling happy again when he turns around and walks up to the side of my bed. "Yay, you stayed." My giggles disappear soon after I see his face near mine.

"What is it Alyssa?"

"It's about Callie." His eyes narrow and I lean towards him and stare with my face inches from his, and he doesn't move. _He looks so hot_, I think. "She's doesn't love you." I smile sadly at him. "She's in love with someone else, and as hard as you will try, you will not get her back." I pat his cheek. "You need someone that isn't pining for someone they will never have. You need someone that chooses reality over fantasy." I rest my thumb on his lips. "I want to show you what that's like." He shakes his head and moves his face away from mine.

"I'm not going to do this Alyssa."

"Why? You used to do it all the time. Remember the parties we went to. Remember those nights we spent together. Or were you too smashed to recall what we did?"

"I'm over that. Besides you're with Brandon."

I glare at him and he backs away from me. "Don't try this good guy act on me. You were an asshole when you got drunk and horny. I'm the only one that knows the real you."

"I've changed."

"Oh really? Tell me then, did you try to have sex with Callie before she broke up with you?" His eyes go down and I feel successful. "You did didn't you? And she said no. So naturally, you get angry, you demand answers, and she finally tells you the truth. And tonight, you try get her back, by showing her that you can be sober even when throwing a party, when before she arrived, you probably checked out every whore that you banged before you met her."

"I didn't throw this party to prove a point."

"Well you certainly didn't throw it to have fun."

"I'm done with this." He turns to walk out.

"I liked you, you know! A lot. That's why I slept with you, because I hoped you would realize it wasn't just physical for you too. And then you go and choose her instead when she has given you nothing. And now you still want her. What does she have that I didn't?"

"She didn't throw herself at me. She never drank, never did anything stupid. She made me a better person."

The earth has stopped bouncing now, and my body has stopped swaying from side to side. I sigh and sit down next the side of my bed, pressing my hands into my now aching head. "I don't feel that way about you anymore." I touch the edges of my carpet. "I'm just drunk and talking loudly."

"I know." He sits down in front of me. "I'm sorry I used you like that. You're one of my best friends, you know. And thanks for the advice about Callie."

"It wasn't too slurred?"

"No, you _almost _sounded sober."

"Shut up dummy." And he smiles at my old nickname for him.

"Brandon can make you better too. We can both benefit from not partying all the time." He helps me up and I get into bed while he turns off the lights. "Good night."

"David?" I ask with half my face in my pillow.

"Yeah?"

"I thought I was falling in love with you. I think I'm falling in love with Brandon. But I don't know if I'm the kind of person to fall in love while I'm in high school."

He grins slightly. "You'd be surprised."

He closes the door and I'm left in darkness, listening to his retreating footsteps like it's seven months ago and we were still juniors, and I just let him leave without telling him how I felt. Except this time I'm longing for someone else.

_Brandon can help me. He can make me better. He can help me fall in love._

_I just hope I don't end up brokenhearted._

* * *

Teen love is messy. You're old enough to know what you're feeling but too young to really find that one person you'll be with for the rest of your life. Because you're still kids, everything seems like fun until someone's feelings get hurt.

To make up for the lack of maturity, you'll try find someone older, who doesn't understand that they are young and vulnerable. And feelings get hurt again, and you just fall deeper into this belief that love is only a myth.

Teens really shouldn't fall in love. They're terrible at having a healthy relationship with somebody the same age. Yet, we still do because movies and books and pop songs tell us to believe that you can find that special somebody, wherever and whenever you want. So we believe people we don't know over our own parents, who try to steer us towards a realistic idea of what love really is. We know better, we think. We're the ones that feel this way, how dare they try to tell us what to do.

Maybe if we listened, we would have saved ourselves so much pain. But how else are we supposed to know better in the future? How else are we supposed to know what to tell _our_ kids not to do?

As a child, you need to be scolded so that you know what it feels to do something wrong. It's recognizing it and making the right decisions that make you wise. Because then you know better. Then you know you've lived.

* * *

Second Author's Note: So, it is not the end of Brandon and Alyssa, not for a while. I know that right now he's cheating on Alyssa with Callie, but that because Callie feels like they need to keep up appearances for a while and they don't want to hurt Alyssa while she feels the pressure for her next performance. The question is, will Alyssa fall in love with Brandon? Will David still be around? Stick around to find out. Hope to read your reactions!.

Next Chapter: A month goes by and Callie gets caught in a bad situation while Brandon is busy with Alyssa


	8. Shattered

Author's Note: As promised, here is the next chapter for this story! I don't know what to expect from you guys when you read this chapter. I'm seriously excited to find out. Enjoy.

* * *

Everything in the universe hangs in a balance, hanging on the fact that if something causes it to snap, it can fall and shatter into pieces, pieces you may not be able to put back together.

People always describe the feelings of something horrible happening as a shattering. Your heart, your sanity, your world. And they're right, because nothing else can define what happens better than something being broken beyond repair.

A dancer who breaks her foot always babies that foot because she knows how even when the bones are back in place, one slip can take her back to where she was before, hurting and in an even more fragile condition.

You can only heal so much.

It's up to yourself if you're doing it alone.

* * *

**One Month Later**

* * *

**Brandon's P.O.V**

I knock on Alyssa's front door and within seconds, she opens the door, a small grin on her face. "Hey," I peck her on the cheek and come inside. "You texted me?"

She grabs my hand and pulls me into her living room, "It's nothing to worry about." We sit on the couch, "I just feel like there's something I should tell you."

I raise my eyebrows, "It sounds serious."

She shakes her head, "It doesn't really matter, but I would feel better if you heard what I have to say." I nod and she takes a deep breath and grabs a hold of my hand, squeezing it, and I stared into her eyes, giving her a reassuring gaze. "So, you were never a party guy, so you never saw me before we dated. I would go out with my friends every Friday and Saturday, just looking for a good place to get beer. And for a few months, I would always hook-up with this one guy. I thought he liked me and for a while, I held onto the hope that he would want to date me publicly. But then, he met this girl, and he stopped partying and would never want to go out and I just accepted that what I felt was one-sided. And then I met you and I totally forgot about how I felt about him. I was able to move on because you helped me feel like more than just a mattress."

She sits a little closer, "I'm not a hopeless romantic. I don't think I will meet the love of my life while I'm in high school. Even the idea that I'm falling in love makes me laugh. But what I feel, when I'm with you Brandon, it's the best thing I've ever felt. I don't know what the future holds for us, but I do know that I want to relish in what we have right now. So, let's take these next few months and just be happy."

"I know how hard things must have been with Callie, and you have no idea how crushing it was when I realized that the guy I liked didn't like me. But we don't need something that lasts forever. We need something that helps us realize that there are other people for us out there. And I know you want to go to New York for college, and you know I want to stay here for singing. So either way, this will end by the time we get to college. So let's just make the best of it, and when it is over, be each other's hope for a new future."

I stare at her, confused, "If you feel that way, why not just end this now?"

"Because to end it now would be premature. I'm still hurting and you're still hurting, and that's to be expected after what we went through. And we make each other happy right?"

"Of course."

"Good," she wraps her hands around my neck. "Besides, Callie needs this too. She may not have someone to help her move on, but if she sees you doing it, then you two can get the that point where you can truly be family. Don't just do this for yourself, do this for her Brandon."

Every bone in my body is telling me that this isn't good, that I should tell her that Callie and I will be together, that she is the only person I ever want to be with, even at this second.

But when I look into her eyes, all I see is me looking at myself in the mirror, convincing myself that what I was doing by staying away from Callie was the best thing for her; that I could move on from her and be happy. And I realize that even though I don't need to tell myself that, Alyssa does. She needs this relationship. She needs to believe that she can fall in love, even if I'm not the guy she does fall for.

So, when I lean in to kiss her, I'm not doing it for myself. I'm doing it so that someday, Alyssa can find the same thing I feel when I'm with Callie. I'm doing it because it's what I would have wanted someone to do for me.

But if I'm going to do this, I have to do it right.

* * *

**Callie P.O.V.**

I hear keys jangle outside of the front door and I rush, throwing my arms around Brandon when he enters the front door of his dad's apartment. "I've been waiting forever, what took you so long?"

He separates me from his body, and his hands go down to mine, my spirits sinking as he looks down at me with one of the saddest expression I've ever seen. I put one of my hands up to his cheek but he moves his head back and I drop my hand the same time he opens his mouth. "Callie, I can't do this."

My eyes widen and I start to protest when his lips come down on mine, and my senses explode when his hands wrap around my body and my mind is moving slowly when I finally realize what he's doing. I both want to shove him off and pull him close while his hands touch the small of my back under my shirt, and my body and mind is so confused and so contrasting and I know his must be to, because why would he say those words and then kiss me like this.

My mind wins out when I feel his fingers undoing my bra clasp and I shove him off and pull his shirt towards me when he stumbles back. "What the hell are you talking about?"

He shakes his head and tries to reach for my waist but I back up from him. He runs his hands through his hair and leaves his hands behind his head. "I can't break up with Alyssa."

"Brandon-"

"I can't do it Callie." His hands fall. "I look at her and the situation she's in, and I see myself, three months ago, trying to move on from loving you, trying to convince myself that falling in love again will be good for me."

"But Brandon, you don't have to worry about that anymore."

"But she does? She's been hurt Callie, she doesn't think that falling in love is something she can do."

I shake my head, "Brandon, we're not hurting her."

"Would you have said the same if this were switched and you were still with David? Would you have been so willing to hurt him?"

"She doesn't know we're doing this."

"But I do. I have to look at her and pretend that everything is still the same, that I feel nothing for you, when I come home and there you are in my room, sitting on my bed, and I can kiss you senselessly behind closed doors."

"I just don't understand."

"This is wrong Callie. Not us being together but being with you while I'm with someone else isn't fair, to either of you. I don't want to hide you, and I don't want to lie to her. But you won't let me stop this charade, and now I'm stuck at a point where I can't get out anytime soon. I want to help her Callie. I don't want her to remember me as another guy that broke her heart."

"So, you two are just going to stay together until when? We graduate?"

"At least until then. After that, we go our separate ways and we remember each other as the people that made the other person happy."

"Does she? Make you happy?"

"She did. And now I have you to make me happy." He takes a few steps towards her. "You said months ago that you can't be the thing that makes me happy. But you are, and you always will be. Now I'm telling you that I have to be what makes her happy. I have to give her that hope. I'm doing this for her Callie."

"So what the hell was this, a goodbye? Brandon, I want to be with you, I love you."

"I love you too. This has nothing to do what that though. I want to be there for her."

"Then be her friend, not her boyfriend."

"It's not enough, not for her. You told me I had to be the best boyfriend ever. But this doesn't just end at the concert. It ends when we finally say goodbye, as friends, months from now, when not only do I not have to be with her, I can be with you, miles away where no one can tell us what to do. I can wait it out, as long as it means that no one gets hurt."

"I will hurt Brandon. Seeing you with her will hurt me."

"I know." Hesitantly, he cups my face and brings his forehead to mine. "We promised to wait. Who knows, maybe it won't take the next few months maybe it will happen faster. I just want to do something that doesn't benefit me for once, something that feels unselfish." He moves one hand down to my waist, "Please Callie, let me do this."

It's futile to say no, because I am putty when it comes to him, and I feel like saying no would mean I was selfish. And maybe I was. I wanted everything, family and a relationship, and I had to remind myself that this wasn't forever. He could wait and I could wait. I could be a bigger person too.

I let out a quivering breath, "If it's that important to you, we'll stop, until Alyssa doesn't need you anymore. And then after that-"

"I'll never let you go again. That's a promise."

* * *

**One Month Later**

* * *

**Callie's P.O.V.**

Laughing and swaying to the music, I feel like I'm flying as guys and girls smash against each other in the living room of God-knows-who's house on a Friday night. Somebody takes my hands and we jump up and down, as the music gets loud.

"Wooo!" I yell and I turn towards the kitchen where some cute guy hands me a cup and I flirtatiously wink at him as I chug down the beer. He laughs at me and it looks like somebody sprinkled fairy dust everywhere because his eyes seem dazzling and I'm leaning in and sticking my lips onto his. I pull back smiling and then walk away, going back towards the fun and flinging my hair over my shoulder.

"Whoops," my feet stumble and I fall into the arms of a guy who hoists me back onto my feet. "Thank you." I try pull back but his hands stay on my waist. He presses his lips to mine and I instinctively wrap my arms around his neck. I taste the alcohol in his breath and on his tongue when it slips inside of my mouth. People are bumping into us and his mouth leaves mine as he takes me upstairs. His hand feels big and there is something relaxing about how it holds mine.

We end up in a bedroom and the world is getting hazier as he leads me to the bed. I look at his face but it's blurry and it doesn't matter because he's kissing me again and taking my shirt off and it's feels so good and I just want to relish in the fact that I'm kissing somebody after a month of being lonely and watching Brandon leave the house to go be with Alyssa.

"Mhmm." I moan as I lean back onto the bed with him on top of me. My fingers are woven in the guy's dark locks and they almost feel like Brandon's except it's a bit too short and doesn't smell like him, but I think I can forget about that as long as he keeps on kissing me on the neck. His hands move back to my bra and his lips capture mine as he takes it off.

There is a little voice in the back of my mind trying to tell me something important, like I should be noticing that this boy wasn't Brandon, and no point in trying to trick myself into thinking it. But my mind was moving like gelatin and nothing could get through the thick fog that came with drinking too much and wanting a distraction.

_Brandon_, I pull off his shirt. _God Brandon, I want you so much_.

But this is not Brandon. And I shoot up from my bed, waking up from the memory of last night, clutching my sheets to my chest as my heartbeat slows down, I move my legs to the side of the bed and hold my head in my hands.

"Hey," my head snaps towards Marianna, whose worried expression probably mirrors my own. "You okay?" I look away and shake my head. "Does this have anything to do with you coming home trashed last night?" I shudder and nod my head. "You want to tell me?"

I take a deep breath, my throat chokes up with tears, and they start falling out. Marianna rushes to my side and I lean against her small frame while she rubs my back.

"I screwed up Marianna." I start hyperventilating and she just shushes me.

"It's alright, it's alright; everything will be fine. Shhhh Callie." She wraps her arms my shoulders and I reciprocate it as I quietly sob into her neck.

"It's not." I wipe my eyes against my sleeve. "God, I can't believe what I did." I pull away from her and look at her through blurry vision as the tears keep forming and I confess what my dream didn't show me, what I unfortunately remembered when he drove me home that night. And I know why his hands were comforting and his hair felt so nice and how he knew how to kiss me.

"What happened?"

I sniff and cover my mouth with my hands. "I had sex with him." I move my hands and say it louder. "I had sex with David."

* * *

People don't build walls because they're strong. They build walls because they're afraid. Walls don't attack, they keep in what you're trying to protect. And when people try to break down those walls, you fight back, you try to push them out, because you don't care if they are trying to help or hurt you. All you know is that they are taking down what you are trying to keep up.

But it's hard to build walls. It's easier to destroy, to let everything spin out into chaos, to step on sandcastles instead of filling up buckets to create more.

It's easy to let your inhibitions go. Let the rope holding you up break. Falling, spiraling, until you hit the cold realization and try to pick up the pieces of your ruin.

But the pieces just keep getting smaller and smaller, don't they?

* * *

Second Author's Note: Please don't hate me. If you were one of my readers for _Whispers and Screams_, you would know how much I love to create bad situations like this. I just felt like things were going _too_ well for my style. But this just makes it all the more exciting when I post a new chapter, right guys? But seriously, please don't hate me.

In fact, if you want a Brallie scene, check out the next chapter for _Second Chances_. It'll be up in a few days and will be my Brallie fix for the week.

And guys, Alyssa is a person too. She has feelings too. If you give her hate, make it criticism, please?

Next Chapter: Callie distances herself from Brandon as David tries to get closer.


	9. Love Makes Us Liars

Author's Note: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Please, accept this very long chapter as my apology for my absence. And as always, enjoy.

* * *

**Ten Months Ago**

* * *

**Stef's P.O.V.**

I walk up to Callie who is standing and staring at the entrance of the courthouse with one foot tapping the floor. I touch her shoulder and she turns towards me, her anxiousness showing through her eyes. "Hey honey. Are you nervous?" She crosses her arms and gives me a tense smile.

"Yeah, I guess so." She looks over her shoulder and I place my hand on her shoulder.

"Callie. Don't let any doubts cross your mind. This is going to work out this time."

"I know. I just haven't had the best track record when it comes to courthouses."

"Well I promise you, we won't leave this building until you get to walk out of here with a legal document saying that you are my daughter."

She smiles a little wider and then steps forward and wraps her arms around my shoulders and squeezing me tightly, which I reciprocate. "Thank you, for everything. This really means a lot to me."

I release her from the hug. "Well, you mean a lot to all of us." I see Lena walk over with a big smile on her face.

"It's time. You ready?" Callie keeps her gaze at the door before turning back towards us.

"He should be here." Callie says, quite adamantly. "Right? I'm not the only one thinking it." I shoot Lena a look and Callie notices. "What is it?" Her eyes were wide and pleading to us and I rested my hand on top her shoulder.

"Callie-"

"He's not coming is he?" She says quietly. I nod my head, my mouth set in a grim line as she rubs her nose and re-crosses her arms.

"Callie, do you need a minute?" Lena asks, glancing at me as Callie takes a big breath.

"No. If he isn't coming then there's no point in making everybody wait." She walks past us and I gently grab her arm.

"Honey, no one will mind waiting a little longer."

"No, the sooner we get this done, the sooner I can get home and ask him why he thought it would be okay to ditch me on what should be one of the happiest days of my life."

I put my hands on her shoulders to try calming her down. "Don't be angry at him Callie, he's doing this for you. He doesn't want to give you any reason to change your mind."

"And you know this how?"

"He asked us last night if he could not come."

"Yeah, well he should have asked me."

"Would you really want him someplace he doesn't want to be?"

"I would want him to at least take in my feelings for consideration before deciding to not come and support me." She runs her hands through her hair, messing it up and looking more frazzled. "How could he possibly think that this would help me? It just makes it all the more clear that he doesn't want this."

"Callie, you want to be a part of our family, we both know that. You can do this. You always say you want the chance to be happy, the chance for everything to work out for you. This is that chance. Take it," I say, grasping at her hands.

She sniffs and I let her take her hands away to wipe her eyes before nodding. She looks back once at the door and then starts walking with us to the courtroom.

"Wait!" We hear a low voice say and she quickly turns, brown hair flying as it whips around her face. Then she sees the face the voice belongs to and she tries to hide her disappointment as Wyatt rushes over to where she's standing. She manages to muster up a smile and kiss him on the cheek as he takes her hand. With a turn of the heel, she's following Lena into the courtroom.

I take out my phone and send out a text as Callie is making her way up, taking the pen and leaning down over the desk in front of the judge.

_She's signing the papers B. Thank you for not making this any harder._

I can almost imagine him lying on his bed, staring up at his ceiling, blaring his music into the large headphone he bought for him to block out the real world and drown out the thoughts of his own mind. He's going to see the text and write something terse, something that shows he doesn't care what I think, that he's still angry at his heart for betraying him, but before he presses send, he'll stop, delete the text, and put his phone away.

But then my phone buzzes and I look down at the lit up screen with the small white words staring up at me and I have to take a moment to recognize that it's my son who wrote these words to me.

_If you thought I was going to sabotage her adoption, then you obviously don't know me as well as you think you do._

I shove my phone in my pocket before Lena can notice and smile up at Callie who is looking back at us, a big grin on her face as the judge calls us up to sign the document saying that this amazing girl is legally our daughter, that she can finally have what she's wanted for the past six years.

"You happy Cal?" I hear Wyatt ask as Callie takes turns hugging all of her friends from Girls United as we make our way back to the car.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

He shrugs. "You want to go out tonight?" He squeezes her hand and Callie looks at me watching her from the car.

"I can't. I'm going to celebrate with my family." Smiling when she says the word 'family' her hand reaches out and draws his face towards her, a long lingering kiss pressed against his lips. "I'll see you tomorrow at school, okay?" He nods and walks off and I watch her smile fall as she walks over.

"You can go out with him Callie, we won't mind."

She bites her lip and shakes her head. "No." She's suddenly serious. "I need to talk to Brandon."

I want to protest but she's back to having that look from before, with her eyes both big and intense, a clear determination for what she wants to do set in her jaw and furrowed into her brow. "Callie, he did what he thought was best for you. Giving you space is the only way he knows how to cope with this."

"Yeah, well I need to fix that. We are family now, it's not like he can avoid every happy moment of my life."

"He won't. This behavior is something that I will talk to him about, and Lena and I will make sure that he doesn't pull this kind of stunt again."

"Let me do it first." She insists. "I deserve to hear an explanation from him."

"If you think that's what you want."

"I do." She says confidently. "I know I do."

* * *

**Present Day**

* * *

**Callie's P.O.V.**

"You're avoiding me."

I shake my head and try to walk past Brandon and get into the bathroom at six in the morning before anyone else can steal the hot water. "I'm not avoiding you."

He follows me into the bathroom and closes the door behind him before I can protest. "You haven't talked to me for days. I know we agreed to not be together until we got out of here, but I can't help but feel I did something wrong."

"You didn't do anything, I'm fine." I turn on the water to drown out our conversation from the rest of the household. "I'm just stressed out from school."

"You don't get stressed out from school, you get stressed out from people. Is somebody bothering you?" I take my hair down and brush it through in front of the mirror, the reflection of his face next to mine, and I turn towards him and place my hands on his arms.

"Nothing's wrong. You have nothing to worry about." His hand goes up to my face and I lean into the palm of his hand as his thumb goes down to my lips, staring hard at them and then back up to my eyes.

"You just seem sad." He steps his body closer putting his chest right in front of mine, my hands still gripping his biceps. "How about we hang out tonight, go to my dad's. He's going out with some friends and he won't be back for a while."

I cock my head and my hands move up to his neck, where his hair is curling and showing signs of needing a trim, and he smiles as my fingers tickle the back of his neck. "I would really like that. But-"

"No buts. Just come tonight. And whatever it is that's bothering you, we can talk about it in a," he glances at our surroundings, "better and more romantic setting."

"What, your powers of seduction don't work in a bathroom?"

"I don't know, you tell me." He says in a throaty voice, and I want to scream with the way he's driving me crazy.

But then Saturday flashes into my mind, with David's mouth on mine like how I want Brandon's to be and I detangle myself from his embrace and nod my head to the shower. "You should go. I don't want to waste the hot water."

He raises his eyebrows and starts to lift his shirt over his head.

"What are you doing?"

"You want to save water, I need to shower too." He throws it off onto the floor and at any other moment I would definitely be on him like flies on honey but the feeling in my stomach is gnawing in a way that isn't just hunger. So, I shake my head and put my hands on his chest, his eyes squinting as I push him towards the door.

"Not now." I throw his shirt at him. "I don't want to make things less special for tonight," I explain, trying to lessen how suspicious my actions are right now. I open the door as he puts his shirt back on and he spares me one last questioning look before walking out the door. I rub my fingers against my brow as I lean against the now closed door, trying to stop my rising heartbeat as I freak out over how I'm going to get past what I did.

_You were drunk, lonely, Brandon will understand. You forgave him when he told you about Dani._

_It didn't mean anything anyway. It's not like David's making a big deal out of it._

That's true. As long as he stays quiet then I have nothing to worry about. He can't still be in love with me and it's been months since I last spoke to him. He hasn't made an effort to talk to me since the party. It's like we both silently agreed to forget about it.

At least, until I get out of the shower and back to my room, when my phone lights up and vibrates on my bed. I pick it up and my heart drops into my still empty stomach with the four words I did not want to see.

"We need to talk."

* * *

There are moments when you see a person in a different light, when you discover a quality that you did know exist. Like when a biker is seen buying flowers for his mother. Or a grumpy old man smiles when he sees his young granddaughter.

Then there are some revelations that strip away the beauty on the surface and reveals the unattractive features lying under the charm and façade. Like the pretty girl with too much foundation on her face, covering up the black and blue left by her seemingly perfect boyfriend. Or the man, who likes to pretend he doesn't have a wife and kid at home and just, wants to feel young again.

The thing about lies is that they are insubstantial, like a fog you can wave your hand through whereas the truth is a mountain that won't disappear. The fog may seem like an obstacle, obscuring your sight, but it provides no protection from the people that forge through to find the truth.

Some people turn back before they get lost. Others are a little more persistent, climbing to the top to see the whole picture. And once you get there, it could be exactly what you expect.

Or it could be a whole lot worse.

* * *

"I don't understand." David takes a step forward toward to where I'm leaning against the lockers, and I'm shocked to see him try touch my arm, as if he wants to hold me.

I shirk away from him, crossing my arms as if that will create a force field to block him from me. "I just want to forget that night ever happened."

"Well too bad, I think I deserve to hear from you why you're acting like I killed your dog right now."

"It was a hook-up. It didn't mean anything. If it wasn't you, then it would have been some other guy, some other face clouded by alcohol. I wish it could have been." I try to walk away from him, but he grabs my arm and pulls me back.

"Callie, I still have feelings for you." He takes my hand and I have to resist the urge to yank it out because I have some shred of sympathy for him not able to get over his feelings.

I swallow and look him in the eye, happy for the fact that it's Brandon's blue eyes pleading to me this time, although the dread is still there in my heart, as I have to reject this sweet guy's affection.

"David, I'm sorry, but I don't feel the same way. It has nothing to do with you." He groans when I say that. "I'm serious." He shakes his head, still not believing me, as if this is a joke I'm playing on him, but I have to get this into his head so that I don't have to have this conversation again. "Look, the truth is I was only using you to get over somebody else."

He suddenly has that expression of looking like I just shot him through the heart, and it's like he's in slow motion. I can see the exact moment when what I said gets through to him, because his mouth opens like he wants to protest and then rounds out to make an, "Oh."

He looks down at where his hand is gripping my arm and lets go, backing away from me, the grief visible in his warm brown eyes. He looks down at his feet while I just stare at him, waiting for him to say something, anything, because I can't read his face to see if he's angry or not.

"It's not like I didn't like you, I did." I try to explain, wanting him understand. "But it just wasn't enough."

He puts his hand up to stop me and I comply, wanting to here his thoughts, no matter how harsh they can be. He turns around and puts his hands on his head, as if he can squeeze the information into his head before letting them fall at his sides.

"I told myself it wasn't possible, but now it all makes sense." David says quietly, his voice rising as he goes on. "The reason you never opened up and why even after six months you still don't love me. It's him isn't it?"

I'm taken aback at the question. "Who?" _Please don't say it please don't say his name_.

"Who else? I mean, you had just broken up with him, I could imagine that you would still have feelings for him while we were together."

I'm lost for a second. And then I realize he's not talking about Brandon.

"I didn't think you were actually in love with him."

"I wasn't. I'm not." I shake my head. "Look, Wyatt has nothing to do with this."

His face scrunches up and he shakes his head, and I can tell that he's confused. "Who else could it possibly be?" David's thoughts are moving a mile a minute trying to figure it out, connecting dot to dot, and I have to stop him in his tracks before he finds his answer.

"It doesn't matter David, it's over. I don't want to talk to you again, and you can't tell anyone about what we did. You got it?" I demand, all serious, attempting one last time to make him give up on me.

"Oh I get it." He grumbles. "Loud and clear. But don't think this is over." He slams an open locker door shut and quickly walks away, wringing his hands by his side. I take a deep breath and lean against the wall, closing my eyes, my hand holding where he grabbed me, trying not to cry as my frustration threatens to leak out.

"Hey," my eyes snap open a few minutes later, thankfully dry and not red, and Brandon's standing in front of me with a secretive smile on his face. "You ready for a more 'romantic' setting, to talk about things?"

A corner of my mouth lifts up and I squeeze one of his fingers with mine, "You think you can handle it?"

"Oh, I can handle it." He smiles a little wider. "And anything you throw at me."

Shivers go down my spine as the words vertebrate in my head, both good and bad as my latest obstacle still stands at the center of my mind.

And the only thing that can help me is a distraction.

"Lets go." I whisper and we get away as fast as possible, avoiding Lena's office and the front entrance, like two thieves sneaking away from a bank, although I wouldn't say what we were doing was criminal.

After all, nothing else felt more right.

* * *

**Ten Months Ago**

* * *

**Brandon P.O.V.**

I wouldn't say I am jumpy, but with the anticipation of my family coming home, any sound of a passing car would raise my heartbeat and make me feel like I was running a marathon, so the only way to drown out the noise was more noise, specifically any loud song I could find on my iPod. But music has that ability to change my personality, make me heart wrenchingly sad or extremely happy, so you could expect that when my mom texted me, I wasn't in the greatest disposition. In fact, I didn't even have a chance to reread what I wrote before sending it, although I could tell it wasn't the best way to respond back to my mother.

So I turn off the music and lay in bed, letting my thoughts drown my senses, feeling like the sack of crap I have become. And I can't close my eyes because all it does is make it easier to see her face, the way her hair moves when she walks with her back towards me, the view I'm used to seeing nowadays.

_I could really use a drink_. I reach for the bottle next to my bed, almost empty, trying to keep the buzz alive, although a big part of me wants to go to the sink and let flow down the drain because I'm not like my father. Pouring alcohol down my throat doesn't help me forget that today is one of the worst days of my life, and that tomorrow will be no better.

I hear the front door slam and I slowly force myself to sit up, placing my head in my hands, not wanting to look up when the door opens and the lecturing starts. I almost do when I hear the soft footsteps of one person walking towards the door, but the breaking point is when she just stands there, outside of the door, probably trying to figure out what to say before coming in. But I don't want a scripted conversation with her. I want her to talk without thinking, tell me how she really feels. She wants to play it safe. But I wasn't really in a good mood to let her.

I open the door quickly, she steps back, a surprised look on her face, and she avoids my burning gaze, looking down at her feet. "I wanted to talk to you."

I step back and she glances up. "Fine, let's talk." I let her walk past me and close the door behind her; a sound that makes her turns around.

"You didn't have to close the door." She says scolding.

"You didn't have to stand outside for the last three minutes."

"You don't get to be mad." Callie was though, but she had an adequate reason. "You didn't show up for my adoption." She spat out.

"I didn't think I had to be there." She shakes her head at my explanation

"Of course you had to be there! Everybody that mattered to me was there except for you!"

"Oh, I 'matter' to you now?" I scream back.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"You haven't talked to me in weeks! You avoid me at school, you don't look at me at dinner, and the only times we do talk is when I run into you on your way to the bathroom, and all I get is a 'excuse me'!" I turn around and lean against my desk as I choke out the next sentence. "I thought I meant more to you than to deserve this." Wiping my eyes, I look back at her standing next to my bed, holding onto the post. "I get that you can't love me, but you hating me too is too much for me to handle."

Her hands clench and her eyes are bearing the rage that she's keeping in, letting it seep out in the way she speaks. "You are not the only one that has to handle being like this. You are not the victim here. I'm not going to feel sorry for you, especially when you have this delusion that I hate you."

"Then what is it, if not hate, that makes you act like this? Like we were never friends, like you didn't confide some of your biggest secrets to me because I was the only one you opened up to."

"You're not the only one I open up to." She confesses. "Not anymore."

"Right, because now, you have Wyatt."

She glares at me. "Just because I'm not giving all of my attention to you doesn't mean you have to sulk around the house all the time."

"You think I'm not happy that you trust my family. I'm ecstatic! All I've ever wanted was for you to find a place where you belong!"

"Then what is it?"

"It's him! It's the fact that you're with someone else, someone you would rather be with, or pretend to."

"You know there's more to it that who I want to be with. I have to think about what's best for me, what's best for all of us."

"And yet, you're letting other people make decisions for you." She slaps me, a cold hard sound, as harsh as the actual hit, and at that moment, we realize how close we have become, having stepped closer and closer with each angry word.

I look down at her, my breath labored at her proximity and my temper rising as my buzz burns away. "You try so hard to do the right thing all the time that you think it is easier to just let other people tell you what it is. But doing what everyone else wants you to do makes it so that you don't even know whom you are. That's something you told me."

"I know who I am and I know I made the right decision to have a family instead of living on my own." Her voice quivers slightly as she goes on. "I'm sorry I haven't talked to you recently. But how can I when it is so apparent that I am not good for you?"

"What are you talking about?" I demand. "How are you not good for me?"

"Look at what's happened since I came! You stole, you sold fake IDs, and you lied to your parents, all because of me! You left the house because you couldn't be near me! It's so obvious that what you need is to be as far away from me as possible."

"None of that was your fault! You didn't make me do anything; I made those decisions on my own! You can't use my mistakes as a reason to ignore me. Nor should you be using Wyatt."

"I'm not using him. I like him, a lot!"

"But you love me." Her face gives me nothing, no agreement or denial, so I go on. "That's why you couldn't say it at the dance. Because you love me."

Her face stays unchanged and her voice keeps a same still tone as she backs away from me. "I'm adopted now Brandon. Whatever you say can't change anything. It's done."

Callie practically runs out the door to get away from me and I sit at my piano bench, my eyes still staring at the door she left open, letting in the sounds of the party starting downstairs permeate the leftover tension in the room. A celebration when all I feel is myself dying on the inside, except there's a little voice in my head, a voice that sometimes leads me astray, that point out one thing.

_She didn't say she didn't love you. Even after all this time, it's still not true._

She's wrong. Things aren't over between us. We have as much closure as that open bedroom door. There's still so much more to be said. And Callie's is going to hear it. She's going to know that we're meant to be.

Just like I know, we are.

* * *

Voices can be bad. They can lie, tell you everything you hope to never hear, strip you down until you can't even trust yourself, let alone others to help you battle what is only an inside war. Or they can do even worse, by telling you only and exactly what you want to hear, focusing on that one thing and giving you a false hope that can only hurt you.

Sometimes they can take on the forms of our parents, serve as reminder not to do bad things, that as a child, you will be punished. Or they can nourish you; give you the comfort you need in times of sadness.

Voices can't hurt you. Words can't hurt you. But what you do with what they tell you, the actions driven by knowing what you know or may _think_ you know, that can hurt.

Sometimes the knowledge of something is too much of a burden that you can't imagine putting it on somebody else's shoulders. So, you do what you can to hide it, sparing the feelings of another while sacrificing your own. But you end up sacrificing more when it all comes tumbling down and leaving a mess you can't clean up.

If there's one thing I know for sure, it's that you can make empty promises, spin webs of lies, and you know what you end up with. Nothing.

Only the truth holds up when everything else falls apart and it's so much easier to give away to another.

Although I can't promise, it's any less painful.

* * *

(Apologetic) Author's Note: You all have permission to hunt me down and make me suffer for not updating this story for a month. Like seriously guys, I haven't been able to write for weeks, the only reason _Second Chances_ was being updated was because I had all of those chapters written already. _Near and Far _is an exception, although that still needs to be finished. It wasn't for lack of inspiration, more like I was suffering from "I-have-a-million-things-to-do-before-school-ends-and-I-have-no-time-to-write-itis". I can't even promise that _Second Chances _will be updated because **I have not written a single word of the next chapter **(help me Lord). I just need you guys to bear with me for the next week, expect the next post from me to be in about a week. I thank you all for your patience and hope you don't all hate me. Thank you and goodnight.

- riversong15


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